Question

经典英语笑话 带翻译

Answer 1

the lowest grade

\"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don\'t think I deserve a zero.\"
\"Neither do I. But that\'s the lowest grade I\'m allowed to give.\"

最低分

学生：“教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师：“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了！”

Real Play

When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater\'s current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: \"The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.\"

逼真的戏剧

我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道：“这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。”

the chemical formula for water

Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: \"HIJKLMNO\"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!

水的分子式
老师：水的分子式是什么？
花瓶：HIJKLMNO！！
老师：你在说什么？
花瓶：昨天你不是说H to O吗？
a sheep and a dog
In the evening, a sheep on the hillside to play alone, suddenly from the trees of a wolf jumped out, wanted to eat the sheep, the sheep jumped up, struggled with angular resistance, and began to my friends for help.
Cattle in the bushes to this place look, discovery is a wolf, run away;
The horse looked down, discovery is the wolf, swiftly running;
The donkey stopped, discovery is the wolf, slipped down the hill; the pig through here, discovery is the wolf, rushing down a slope;
Bunny listens, is more like an arrow.
Under the mountain sheep dog heard shouts, rushed up to, from the grass on the wolf came, the neck, the wolf cry out with pain, while the dog was ventilation, and fled.
Later, back home, the friend to all,
The cow said: why didn't you tell me? My angle can pluck the wolf.
Ma said: why didn't you tell me? My hoof to kick a wolf's head.
The donkey said: why didn't you tell me? I'm a roar, scare the wolf.
The pig says: why didn't you tell me? I use my mouth a arch, let it fall down the hill.
The rabbit said: why didn't you tell me? I run fast, can be rumors.
In the noisy crowd, but no dogs.

一只羊与一只狗敌过狼
傍晚，一只羊独自在山坡上玩，突然从树木中窜出一只狼来，要吃羊，羊跳起来，拼命用角抵抗，并大声想朋友们求救。
牛在树丛中向这个地方望了一眼，发现是一只狼，跑走了；
马低头一看，发现是狼，一溜烟跑了；
驴停下脚步，发现是狼，悄悄溜下山坡；猪经过这里，发现是狼，冲下山坡；
兔子一听，更是像箭一般离去。
山下的狗听见羊的呼喊声，急忙奔上坡来，从草丛中闪出，咬住了狼的脖子，狼疼得直叫唤，趁狗换气时，怆惶逃走了。
后来回到家，朋友都来了，
牛说：你怎么不告诉我？我的角可剜出狼的肠子。
马说：你怎么不告诉我？我的蹄子能踢碎狼的脑袋。
驴说：你怎么不告诉我？我一声吼叫，吓破狼的胆。
猪说：你怎么不告诉我？我用嘴一拱，就让它摔下山去。
兔子说：你怎么不告诉我？我跑得快，可以传言呀。
在这闹闹嚷嚷的一群中，唯独没有狗。

Answer 2

预算超标的小偷 Caught stealing

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

Answer 3

预算超标的小偷 Caught stealing

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

Answer 4

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了