Question

求助高手帮忙批改下雅思作文，多谢！

题目：Students from rural areas often find it difficult to access universities education, so some people think universities should make it especially easy for them to study at. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
作答：
Currently, the students from rural area are more difficult to enter the university due to reasons regarding economy or basic education etc. So should universities make it easier for rural students to access university education? May be different people have different answer. But, from my personal perspective, the answer should be YES!
There are a variety of reasons to confirm this answer. To start with, cultivated from the university, the rural students can expand their visions and catch some useful skills. More specifically, it is widely believed that education is both important and beneficial to youth developments and potential fullfillment. Furnished with the nutrients from the education, the rural students can show their intelligence and talent in some area and make more contribution to the society.
Moreover, educating rural students is also a efficient ways to narrow the nap between urban area and rural area. Compared to the urban students, rural students prefer to develop their life to establish the rural area. Improving the infrastructure and enhancing the life standard of their hometown is the dream of some rural students.
Overall, from the analysis we did above, we can see that the advantages of giving more opportunities of education to the students from rural area outweighs disadvantages. Therefore, the government would be well-advised to give priority to the field of university education on rural students. At the same time, companies and institutes should also offer financially supports to the impoverished students, not for the sake of pursuing profit, but for the development of rural area. In addition, universities also should provide rural students with help in life and study. Only in these ways can the rural students get a easier education and contribute more to the society after graduation.

帮忙分析下思路正确否再帮着打个分啥的，多谢啦

Answer 1

Hey, If I was a examiner, I would give you 5.
This issue is about "why universities should make it easy for rural student to study at." But you focused on the advantage of rural student entering university. You should develop your ideas based on the topic.
Besides, be careful for common mistakes and language problems.

Answer 2

66

Answer 3

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