Question

我写了一篇英语作文，希望英语高手帮我检查一下语法以及意思用法上有没有什么问题。

I plan to go to Yunnan to visit my grandmother and some other people. They miss me very much.

The weather there is always cool, I think. Because Kunming is the Spring City. I plan to take a train to go there. I’d like to go there with my family.
I’d like to visit Dali and some other places of interest. I’d like to take a camera, a pair of sunglasses and so on.
My birthday was in July. I want to celebrate it with my grandmother and old friends. But I think it will be late,
I think I will have a wonderful time.
另外。我的学生证在操场上丢失了可以理解为My Student ID losts on the playground吗？

Answer 1

第一，some other people. 改成 other people.
第二，because不能单独开头，前加逗号并成一句。
第三，太罗嗦， i plan to take a train to go there with my family。还有，不要老用plan to哦~可以用 i aim to 或者 i am willing to...
第四，如果是正式作文不能出现contraction, 把‘d like 改成全写
第五，my birthday was in July,你是在讲去年的生日吗？如果不是用一般现在时.
第六，but i think it will be late, i think i will have a wonderful time. 这是典型的 comma splice，一句话只能有一个主语，不能出现两个i。逗号改成句号。
（如果要是两句意思有关联，请用分号）
第七，不要重复用i think，请用关联词： I am sure i will have a wonderful time though i think it will be late.

学生证丢失是过去时了，所以用过去式，i lost my student card on the playground.
个人意见

追问

第三没学 第一好像这样也可以 第二也可以 第四老师没做要求 ，第五谢谢，第六打错了。。
第七。。。可以再说一下吗

追答

如果两个句子都用i think 的话会让人觉得用词重复，这是一个转折关系，所以用关联词。
ps我在国外读书，标准都是按照国外老师的要求来的。。。。

Answer 2

上面的人分析得挺好的
其他一些人一般都不用some other people，你可以用someone else
语法基本没什么错，有些短语用的挺好的。
补充问题：既然学生证已经丢了时态就应该用lost，另外lost是lose的过去式，你怎么在 lost后面加s啊？句子翻译成I lost my student ID card on the playground.
挺好的，加油！

Answer 3

My birthday was in July was改为is.
建议不要分那么多段
语法上面没有什么大错误，O(∩_∩)O
但是结构可以修整
我不知道你是几年级的学生
以下是我对你作文的一些建议哈
我重新写了一篇
i plan to go for a visit to yunnan,in order to see my .grandmother and some other people who misses me a lot. As Kunming is the Spring City. I will go there by train with my family.

I’d like to visit Dali and some other( places of interest)用得好O(∩_∩)O. with a camera, a pair of sunglasses and so on

I want to celebrate it with my grandmother and old friends.since My birthday was in July , I can not sure whether i"ll be late.
I think I will have a wonderful time

追问

这个我还没有学这么多，七年级。我就这样写应该可以把。。。谢谢你哈

追答

恩 好吧 - -浪费了！！！ 不过你没有什么语法错误！ 楼上的 有点考虑得太细致了，你可以把作文拿给你老师看，应该说是没什么问题的

Answer 4

I’d like to take a camera,最好用bring。My birthday was in July。怎么用was?应该是is吧。I plan to take a train to go there. 改成i will go there by train,比较好点。 这是建议，你可以自己在考虑下