Question

帮忙修改一篇雅思作文，谢谢！

我妹妹雅思大概6分水平，作文拖后腿了。望有大神帮忙～谢谢！
关于住在大城市好还是住在乡下好。
In recent years, countless people are moving into city and looking for a nest. On the other hand, other people prefer to study in countryside. Both sides have their merits. As for me, countryside is a better choice to live.
Firstly, many huge cities in Chinese, such as Beijing, Shanghai are polluted in many ways. The main source of pollution is transportation. Cause the number of vehicles are increasing quickly in these years. When exhaust is emitted, city people inhaling polluted air may cause disease. At the same time, these increasing cars may lead to traffic jams. During rush hours, large groups of people waiting for buses, two parties trying to take the same taxi or overcrowded subway system have become a common signs in big city.
Secondly,housing price is not low in big city, about 30000 RMB, so many people can not afford it. By the way, the size of houses in city are tiny normally. If citizens had moved from city to countryside, they would enjoy a comfortable and convenient live environment with family members.

However, it is true that Chinese countryside has no enough elementary facilities and equipments for live. But this situation will not last long. The whole society is taking effective efforts to subsidize the construction of countryside. It is government's duty to invest more money in the building of hospitals, schools, gas stations in countryside. The profitable interludes and wealthy individuals are also giving their hands. So Chinese countryside will be developed better in the near future.
From what has been discussed above, living in countryside is a perfect choice.

Answer 1

countryside is a better choice to live.
这句我觉得应该是countryside is a better place to live, 或者countryside is a better choice to take. 这样句子前后才对应。
Cause the number of vehicles are increasing quickly in these years. When exhaust is emitted, city people inhaling polluted air may cause disease.
这两句不是很通。“因为”不能直接用cause，必须写正规点，because。
然后city people inhaling polluted air may cause disease不是很通，我建议改成，people in the city would inhail polluted air and they may get disease。
By the way, the size of houses in city are tiny normally
这个by the way不是很恰当，有点像人跟人聊天用的随意短语，可以用Moreover, furthermore, also, 之类的我觉得好一点。
From what has been discussed above, living in countryside is a perfect choice
这句结论有点太主观了，既然上面说了乡村生活还没有被完善，那么说明乡村不是一个“perfect” 的选择，最多只能说是更好。

最后我建议多用些副词，比如说However, it is true that Chinese countryside has no enough elementary facilities and equipments for live这句，前面可以换成undeniably, unarguably, evidently, manifestly, 这些，感觉可能档次看上去高一点。

这篇文章很多词语和很多观念都用的很好很恰当，只是有一些细节上的语法错误需要改进一点 : )

Answer 2

首先 外国人对于nest的理解与我们是不同的，请不要用中国人固有思维方式去写作文。
其次，merits 一般用在学习好的方面多一些的。

你需要注意的问题：1. 用词的准确性 2. 文章结构的连贯性 3.每一段中心思想的明确性 4. 句式结构 5.语法的正确使用

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谢谢！可是能不能麻烦更详细一点儿呢～最好有修改意见。：）

Answer 3

看不懂