Question

求英语小笑话

Answer 1

1. Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
正当两人害怕得浑身颤抖时，他们看到是个老头拿着铁锤和凿子，在一块墓石上凿着什么。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口气说，“你把我们吓得半死啊，我们还以为遇上鬼了呢！那么晚了你在这里做什么？”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
“那帮白痴！”老头抱怨道，“他们把我名字拼错啦！”

2. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
在去幼儿园的路上，一个医生把听诊器留在了车座上。她的小女儿拿起听诊器玩了起来。
"My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" thought the doctor.
“女儿想接我的班！”医生想道。
Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
接着，小女孩对着听诊器说道：“欢迎光临麦当劳。您要点什么？”

3. Son: "Dad, give me a dime."
儿子：“爸爸，给我一毛钱。”
Father: "Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?"
父亲：“儿子，你不认为自己渐渐长大，不应该总是一毛一毛地要钱吗？”
Son: "I guess you're right, dad. Give me a dollar, will you?"
儿子：“爸爸，我想你说得对。给我一块钱，好吗？”

Answer 2

A black man wrote a letter you the white people. In his letter he said when you were born, you are pink. When you grow up, you are white. When you are angry , you are red. When you got sick, you become pale. Why do you white people call us colour people? We are black all the time from our birth till our death.

Answer 3

I watched a basketball game in my dream
Mike was late for school.He said to his teacher,Mr Black,"Excuse me for my coming late,sir.I watched a basketball game in my dream
""Why did it make you late?"asked the teacher."Because neither could ein the game.So it lasted a long time."answered Mike.

Answer 4

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”