2012年泉州中考我写的英语作文,看看大约能的几分,哪些有错?作文在问题补充里。急求??
HappinessHapinessisalwaysaroundus.Whenitrainedheavily,mymotherbroughtmeanumbrella.Att...
Happiness
Hapiness is always around us.When it rained heavily, my mother brought me an um brella.At that time I really felt happy.When I felt sad ,my friends comforted me.At that time,I wasn't sad any longer and I was happy.Helping others can also bring me happiness.Sharing happiness with others is also a kind of happiness.It's very easy to be happy.We should treasure the happiness that we have. 展开
Hapiness is always around us.When it rained heavily, my mother brought me an um brella.At that time I really felt happy.When I felt sad ,my friends comforted me.At that time,I wasn't sad any longer and I was happy.Helping others can also bring me happiness.Sharing happiness with others is also a kind of happiness.It's very easy to be happy.We should treasure the happiness that we have. 展开
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最后一句话中的treasure换成动词cherish就好了,中考作文写成这样应该很不错了,语法也很对,时态一致,要找问题的话,就应该是用词有些重复,有些换个说法会更好,内容多少有些空洞,但是整体确实不错,至少能得80%吧,30分的满分24分绝对是没问题。
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这个毕业好多年了,怎么评分也忘了,但是前面几句可以用一般现在时吧。
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亲,自己写吧 一个多月远水带寒树越说越移风易俗
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讲什么啊?
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