Question

雅思大作文， 请大家帮忙批改一下吧！谢谢～

“ School should only offersubjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success, othersubjects, such as music, are not important. Agree or disagree?” During my childhood, I always expect weekendsor holidays. Nowadays, in schools, there have a lot of changes that arecontroversial by people. Some people believe that schools should not open toomany classes for students’ interests but need to focus on students’ futurejobs. On my opinion, it is beneficial for students to get lessons that relaterto both hobbies and marketable skills. On the one hand, it is important for studentsto be well being. First of all, students should not be treated as passivereacceptances of predigested ideas. For example, sometimes, students’creativity is improved by painting or music. Otherwise, different types ofcourses promote students’ physical and emotional development. For instance,after chemistry class, students will prefer to have PE class for having fun andrefresh their mind. It is helpful for students who need to release stress whichfrom serious classes. Therefore, relaxing is crucial for students who wouldlike to balance study and interests. On the other hand, more professional coursesare useful for students who want to set up a goal for future careers. At first,a school is society in miniature so that students will care more about whatteachers have been thought. To illustrate, students could choose more practicalcourses, which relates to the future jobs. In addition, students will save muchtime after graduating. Eventually, students could find a job quickly if studentsmake a plan when they are in school. In brief, school is a better place to providestudents with significant suggestions. All inall, some students adapt to join school life with various classes, such asmusic; however, others are more concentrated on classes that are more usefulfor hunting jobs. As for me, I do not consider that students should followpeople’s mind blindly and need to think critically.

Answer 1

不知道是你打字问题还是怎么回事，单词错误特别多；整体单词语法偏低级，逻辑架构也一般，模板句虽然用的很少但衔接略生硬，观点尚可，5分感觉，单词语法架构5，观点不好说能到6不，没细看。

Answer 2

5-5.5左右