Question

快要考试了，求大牛和老师们帮我修改下雅思大作文啊，不要粘贴来的东西，我上次6.5，7766，写作是6分

这次写作想提,7分，求修改和指导！随便看看的就不要发表意见了，谢了

一：Some people think that pollution and damage of environment are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer, and this is hard to be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that environment challenges, ranging from the smog in cities, especially emission-induced air pollution, to electric pollution, are presented to us. Some people link it to the development of a country, and think that this trend is inevitable. In general, I agree with the opinion expressed.

It is undeniable that, unfortunately, it is always the case that countries tend to pay less attention to the environment perservation with the aim of making money through surging their economy. This means that some rich industrilized countries may be unlikely to solve these environmental challenges because reducing these problems may slow down their industrial production and lower their people's comfort and convenience, even when they possess advanced technology and financial resources.

However, reaching the conclusion that this trend is inevitable is not the same as assuming that "these issues can not be solved." If a nation could make use of its sophisticated technology properly and effectively, then there would be various measures that could be implemented which would have a huge effect on these problems. I personally think that to tackle the problem of air pollution, the technology is already avaliable to produce electric cars that would be both quiter and cleaner to use. As for the electric pollution, are all the neon lights really necessary? They should be turned off when not in use.

In conclusion, I would say that the long-term solution would depend on governments rasing the awareness of the general public that all environmental problems fundamentally arise from the abusive behavior of all individuals, and on a collective consciousness that each individual must be aware of the impact he or she has on the environment.

对于这篇作文，我觉得自己在审题方面有些不清楚，不知道该不该写“怎样解决环境问题”这个部分；还有逻辑问题。

Answer 1

一：有人认为，污染和环境破坏是造成一个国家的发展和繁荣，这是很难避免的。你在何种程度上同意或不同意？毫无疑问的是，环境的挑战，从烟雾中的城市，尤其是emission-induced空气污染，对污染，提交给我们。有人把它发展的一个国家，并且认为这是不可避免的趋势。一般来说，我同意这一观点表达。不可否认的是，不幸的是，它总是这样的国家往往不重视环境保护的目的是赚钱，通过汹涌澎湃的经济。这意味着，一些富裕的工业化国家不太可能解决这些环境挑战，因为减少这些问题可能减缓他们的工业生产和降低人们的舒适和方便，即使他们拥有先进的技术和财政资源。然而，达成的结论是，这种趋势是不可避免的是不一样的假设，这些问题不能解决。”如果一个国家可以利用其先进的技术合理有效，那么就会有各种可以采取的措施，将有一个巨大的影响这些问题。我个人认为，解决空气污染问题，该技术已经可以生产的电动汽车将是安静和清洁剂的使用。至于电力污染，是所有的霓虹灯真的必要吗？他们应该被关闭，在不使用时。最后，我要说，长期的解决办法将取决于政府提高认识，一般市民，所有的环境问题，从根本上产生的虐待行为的所有个人和集体意识，每一个人必须认识到影响他或她对环境。
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追问

╮(╯▽╰)╭，我不是要做翻译啊！这是我自己写的我要大牛帮忙批阅呀！

追答

爱莫能助

Answer 2

同为烤鸭，感觉你的模版痕迹太重