Question

我写的一篇英语作文帮麻烦修改下，谢谢

看下哪些句子有语法错误，哪些句子写的不好，写的部好麻烦帮我改下.
我英语成绩非常烂，麻烦修改详细点啊
千万不要像语法书上那样讲我看不懂
My school
My school was very terrible. turning on the light is not allowed in the daytime.Some students wan to turn on the light.because the eyes of them was not good and （看不清黑板）.（如果我们把打开了 被学校发现就会罚款）
The WC of school was very very terrible.No water and nobody clean.Eery time I went there want to vomit.
Many teachers of school was not duty to us.So many students’ grades was very terrible amd they always got a D this term.
我英语老师部管我们，我好跑到这里来了.这是我今天上课发牢骚写的.内容是真实的哦
括号里面的句子是我不会写的

Answer 1

I think my school is very terrible. And I am during the terrible everyday.

First, we are not allowed to trun the light on during the day and if we do that, we will get fined . But at the same time, so many students need the lighting. Because some students look hard at blackboard.

Second, the toilet at our school is so dirty. There are no water and no cleaner. Everytime, when I go to the toilet, I fell sickness .

Third, we have poor exam grades in this term. I think the reason is that we don't have any professional and responsible teacher .

【上面是我根据你的意思写的，仅作参考==，个人水平不够啊。】

My school
My school was very terrible. 【首先我想说的是，因为你表述是一件实事，所以，用一般式就可以，不需要用过去式。was----is,以下同样改。】

turning on the light is not allowed in the daytime. 【这里的问题是allow的用法了，allow sb. to do sth；allow doing sth；allow sb. in/out/up， 你如果非要用 allow…in的形式，在中间要加上sb， 第二个问题是，整个文章的时态是要统一的，第一句用过去式，第二句用现在时态可不行。这里了话，我建议用的是一般现在时。】

Some students want to turn on the light.【语法上这句是没有错的，但是还是时态问题，这里出现的也是一般现在时态。】

because the eyes of them was not good and （看不清黑板）.（如果我们把打开了 被学校发现就会罚款）【我改写的部分没有加上“他们的眼睛不是很好”这句话，我直接说他们看黑板很困难，因为我觉得这样就够了，简洁，明了。】

The WC of school was very very terrible.【理论上讲，这句话是可行的，但是还是时态问题，要统一时态哦~】

No water and nobody clean.【这句话就出大问题了。其一，water 是名词，nobody clean 这是N+VI 完整的主谓结构，这样的情况下是不能用并列的，就像，说：“水和我要和的水”这样的句子看上逻辑也很奇怪。所以是不行的，结论也就是and 不可以用在这里。其二，每个单独的句子一定有主语谓语，（祈使句的用法比较特别，这里就不多说，），所以，你的句子不成完整句，要有主语和谓语才行，你得说“厕所没有水也没有人清理”对吧？可以用there are/is……It‘s……这样的句式来写。】

Eery time I went there want to vomit.【首先everytime 连写比较。其次这句话有两个谓语，went 和want，两个谓语又没有连词，像and、but、或者引导词which、that、这样的，是不行的。就像中文说，“你是是一个学生”，这样有两个谓语直接在一个句子逻辑上也是行不通的，所以用谓语动词的时候，要注意。另外就是vomit这个词，我常见的还是sickness这个单词（==个人能力不够）所以，最后我改成了Everytime, when I go to the toilet, I fell sickness .】

Many teachers of school was not duty to us.【这里的问题是duty这个单词，这个单词是个名字，不能做谓语，也没有见过 be duty to的用法（请大神指教），不过有一个这个词
be duty-bound to； duty-bound adj. 责无旁贷的,义不容辞的。以免你弄混，你还是不要记这个好了，只要知道duty是名词，你那样写了be duty to 直译了话就是“是责任”。和你要表达的老师对我们不负责任有差距，可以用 be responsible for， 用responsible 这个词比较好。】

So many students’ grades was very terrible amd they always got a D this term【语法上，this term 表示的是现在这个学期吧？但是整句用的是过去式哦。这样不符合语法的。】

以上，纯属个人意见。欢迎指点迷津~

上面有朋友说，你一直在重复用terrible ，的确这里很有多的替换词，还有替换的句型，你可以不要一直重复用N of N 的形式。

Answer 2

My school

My school life is extremly awful. It's not allowed to turn on lights in classrooms during daytime and breaching this rule will be fined. Though some students can't see the blackboard clearly, there's nothing they can do.
(原文中时态不一致，语序也不太通顺，帮你重新理了一下并加了些连接词使得句子之间的联系不是那么生硬）

The school restrooms also drive me mad. No water supply and nobody cleans them. I can't help vomiting whenever going there.
(对个别词语改动了一下）

Many of the teachers are not performing responsibly for students, thus lots of us get bad grades, such as D or worse.
My English teacher doens't care about us at all, that's why I'm complaining right here at class time. All the contents I'm writing are real.
（您对一些词语的理解有些误差所以在意思表达上选择了错误的词，例如duty的用法。我注意到你一直重复使用terrible，一般来说尽量避免。）

希望对你有所帮助。如果满意请及时采纳。

Answer 3

如果是介绍学校的作文，最好用一般现在时。所以第一句最好改成“My school is very terrible."
看不清黑板的： we can not look blackboard clearly.
如果我们把打开了 被学校发现就会罚款:If terned onthe light ,we would be fined .
"nobody clean "改成 “nobody is empolyeed to clean it ."

温馨提示：同学，你的英语纯粹是中文版，希望你能先学好基本功。
希望对你有帮助！

追问

哦！怎么学好基本攻呢？

追答

英语就是有语法和单词组成的，就像搭积木一样，只有先多记些词汇，再记记语法，多练习，多提问，还有一些语法书或许能帮到你。只要学好单词和语法，英语作文就小菜一碟了。

Answer 4

我给你重新顺一遍吧：(全文用一般现在时)
My school was very terrible. Some students want to turn on the lights, because their eyesights(视力) are not good enough to see the blackboard clear. However, Turning on the lights is forbidden （禁止） in the daytime and we will be fined if we are caught turning on the lights. The toilets of the school are terribly awful as there is no water for washing and I want to vomit the moment I go into the toilet.(一进去就想吐).
Most teachers of my school are not duteous to us.So many students’ grades are very terrible and they always got a D this term.

很高兴能帮助到你~
如果你满意~请选择为“满意答案”~谢谢支持哈~

Answer 5

My school is very terrible.( 最好用一般现在时)It's not allowed to keep the light on in daytime.（这句用形式主语比较好）Some students want to turn on the light because their eyesight are not so good that they can't see the blackboard clearly.However,if we turn on the light and was caught by school,we will be fined.
The toilets in our school are so terrible.There's no water and nobody will clean them.That's makes me feel sick when I pass there.
Many teachers in our school are not responsible for us.Therefore,lots of students are not good at study and they always get a D grade in this term.