求大神批改雅思10 test4大作文，谢谢
Firstly, supporting the museum needs financial inputs. The funds from the government are usually limited because the government usually ignores the cultural effect brought by the museum. Instructions of buildings and transports are more likely to be invested as they can cause more financial benefits. Therefore, it will cause poor facilities and incomplete equipment if the museum opens without charges. Enough capital from the visitors can help to build a museum with a better environment and facilities.
Secondly, without charging ticket fees, the salaries of employees in the museum will probably be insufficient. The professional teams and experts cannot be hired to work and protect exhibits of the museum because it is hard to make a living relying on low salaries. At the same time, employees will lose their motivation to work hard and collections in the museum may be treated without caution. At last, the loss of our culture will be caused if the exhibits cannot receive professional maintenance.
Some people hope the museum can be free to go because they think it is an educational institution rather than a commercial organization. Charging from the public for admission will build a barrier to prevent some of them from learning more knowledge. But I think sometimes the threshold is necessary to avoid some people regarding the museum as their temporary shelter that will cause sanitation and order problems.
In conclusion, the advantages of charging people for admission to the museum outweigh the disadvantages because of capital needs and maintenance of the environment and collections in the museum. 展开
修改建议如下，请参考（括号里的是建议删除的内容）：
Many museums sell tickets （of）for admission while others are free to visit. The charging policy will bring both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, the benefits of asking visitors to pay for admitting outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, （supporting）the museum needs financial inputs to maintain its running. The funds from the government are usually limited because the government usually ignores the cultural effect brought by the museum. （Instructions）Infrastructures of buildings and transports are more likely to be invested as they can （cause ）bring more financial benefits. Therefore, it will cause poor facilities and incomplete equipment if the museum （opens）runs without any charges. Enough capital from the visitors can help to build a museum with a better environment and facilities. Secondly, without charging ticket fees, the salaries of employees in the museum will probably be insufficient. The professional teams and experts cannot be hired to work and protect exhibits of the museum because it is hard to make a living relying on low salaries. At the same time, employees will lose their motivation to work hard and collections in the museum may be treated without caution. At last, the loss of our culture will be caused if the exhibits cannot receive professional maintenance.Some people hope the museum can be free to go because they think it is an educational institution rather than a commercial organization. Charging from the public for admission will build a barrier to prevent some of them from learning more knowledge. But I think sometimes the threshold is necessary to avoid some people regarding the museum as their temporary shelter that will cause sanitation and order problems.In conclusion, the advantages of charging people for admission to the museum outweigh the disadvantages because of capital needs and maintenance of the environment and collections in the museum.
但前面并没有出现。可改成while free for some people.
第二段firstly，不需要加ly，fisrt是正确的
