帮忙批改下这篇雅思大作文吧,感谢!

题目:Somepeoplethinkuniversityeducationshouldpreparestudentsforemploymentwhileothersthi... 题目:Some people think university education should
prepare students for employment while others think it should help students
acquire theoretical knowledge. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
---
正文:Nowadays, people are discussing what university education should be,
theoretical or practical. Based on my experience, I want to emphasize
that practical skills have the equal importance with theoretical knowledge for
university students, in spite of each of them has its own sake on building one's
knowledge system. And I tend to think that what people worry about will not be a
matter if university education gave both practical and theoretical courses and
arrange them reasonably, or just let students make their own decisions.

For students who plan to get a work immediately after graduating from
university, courses that preparing them for employment will be the first choice,
since a large amount of practical skills and helpful advises of work will be
involved in those courses. Referring from some surveys, students studied
practical courses for 3 or 4 years always have better performance at the
beginning of work, comparing with those who studied theoretical knowledge for
the same length of years. However, this advantage will not last very long
provided their competitors got more comprehensive understanding on the work by
combining their originally mastered theories with the new working
experiences.

On the other hand, students who want to continue their studying career and
do more academic researches, universally tend to acquire more fundamental
theories which, admittedly, is the prerequisite of academic innovations.
However, in my opinion, the innovation should more or less make some contribution to
practical application, or they will be completely useless. Accordingly,
practical skills are inevitable to a theorist as well as a worker.

As a whole, we can see that, it's time to adjusting university education
into a more reasonable system. As far as I know, some universities have divided
an academic term into three semesters, including two theoretical semesters and a practical
one, and have got a great success. I hope that can provide good model for other
universities in the future.
不知道各位能不能给个大概的分数,谢谢了。
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雪水飘飘
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我来帮你指出一些语法和英语逻辑上的错误,然后帮你把句子改得通顺地道。

Nowadays, people [often discuss] what university education should [mostly consist of], theoretical or practical [knowledge]. Based on my experience, I want to emphasize that practical skills [and thoretical knowledge are of equal importance] for university students, [even though] each [plays its own role in] building one's [career]. [In my opinion,] people [shouldn't worry about whether a university should give] both practical and theoretical courses, and [simply let the students] make their own decisions.

For students who plan to get a [job] immediately after graduating from university, courses that [prepare] them for employment will be [their] first choice, since a large amount of practical skills and helpful [advice for] work will be [included] in those courses. [Some survey results indicate that] students [who studied] practical courses for 3 or 4 years always [perform better in the job] at the beginning [compared] with those who studied theoretical knowledge for the same [amount] of years. However, this advantage will not last very long provided their competitors [will be able to have] more comprehensive understanding [of the job] by combining their [theoretical knowledge] with [practical experiences].

On the other hand, students who want to continue their [academic] career and [do research], tend to acquire more fundamental theories which, admittedly, is the prerequisite of academic innovations. However, [I believe that these ideas] should more or less make some [connections to the] practical application [of it], or they will be completely useless. [Thus,] practical skills [must be present in a thinker] as well as a worker.

As a whole, we can see [that] it's time [to adjust] university education into a more reasonable system. [From what I know], some universities have divided [the] academic term into three semesters, [two theoretical and one practical]. [This system has achieved] great success. I hope that [such systems will serve as a] good model for other universities in the future.

~ ♥ 自己认真修改的,现在语法句型都比较地道,敬请采纳、
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