麻烦帮我看看,这段英语有没有错误

Goodmorning,everyone!Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunityforaninterview.IhopeIcanma... Good morning, everyone! It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview. I hope I can make a good performance today. I'm confident that I can succeed. Now I will introduce myself briefly. I graduated from Qingdao University. My major is about material. And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2011. I spent most of my time on study, and I’ve passed CET-4 during my university.In March 2011, I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch. I am 23 years old, born in Ningbo.So I love everything and everybody in here.And that's why I came back in May 2012.
That’s all. Thank you for giving me the chance.
。。
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jzliu55
2012-09-02 · TA获得超过4229个赞
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写的不错,按照你的意思,简化了一点如下:(供参考)

Good morning, everyone! It is really my honor to have this interview. I hope I can make it good today as I'm confident that. Well, let me introduce myself now. I graduated from Qingdao University. My major is about material. And I graduated with bachelor degree in the year of 2011. I was used to spent most of my time on study, and I’ve ceritfied with CET-4 during my university time.In March 2011, I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch. I am 23 years old, born in Ningbo.

I love everything and everybody here. That's why I came back in May 2012.
That’s it. Thank you for your time
匿名用户
2012-09-02
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句子的主语i 过多,给人感觉不太舒服。多一些变化,效果会更好。祝你成功!
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谢谢。没有其他错误??
追答
没有其他错误
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870097557
2012-09-02 · 超过13用户采纳过TA的回答
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1,performance 可以改为impression on you
2My major is about material 可以改为my major is linked with material!
3.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2011.可以改为i graduate in 2011
4.I spent most of my time on study可以改为i was a conscencious student when i was in th univesity!
5.I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch.可以改为i start my career in the company whose name is wuhu conch!
6..So I love everything and everybody in here可以改为so i was favourably inclined towards the people and environment here
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