Question

求英语大神帮校对这篇短篇英语自我介绍演讲稿有无语法错误或其他，速度求

Hi every one,I am Sophia.Today I have a self-introduction.I am a 13years old girl.I come from Bibo Primary School and I am glad to study in SZ Foreign Language School.Ilike my new school because the school is beautiful,and teachers are funny.I also like my new class and I make lots of friends here.Like Ivy,Teresa,Amily and so on.Ivy is smart and kind.Teresa is really qute.
I like reading and drawing in my share time,.I love reading science fiction books like《harry potter>and 《the hunger games》.I like drawing and i like art class the best.It's interesting.So,when I grow up,I want to be a artist.Where there is a will, there is a way.I think if I hard enough,I will success

Answer 1

Today I have a self-introduction。去掉，不需要
I'm 13 years old。就可以了
I Ilike my new school because it is beautiful,and teachers are very responsible。
I make lots of friends here，such as Ivy,Teresa,Amily and so on。
Ivy is smart and kind while Teresa is really qute.
share time改为 spare time
书名号去掉，可写成斜体或加下划线
and i like art class the best改为 art class is my favourite class because it is interesting
So,when I grow up,I want to be a artist可改为 therefore， I want to be an artist in the future.
if I hard enough --- If I work hard
I will success --- I will succeed

Answer 2

小朋友，这短文写得还不错，只是里面有几处错误：
Today I have a self-introduction： 可以换成： It's my pleasure to introduce myself to you.
and the teachers are funny, 不能用FUNNY，你换个词，responsible and have sence of humer.
make lots of friends , 是不是可以换成： I have made many new friends here,
share time 换成： spare time
when I grow up ---when I grew up
be a (n) artist
if I hard enough --- If I work hard
I will success --- I will succeed.

先将就一下吧，我语法也不是很好。