雅思大作文。在线求批改！~谢谢谢谢谢。
Whether doing successfully in economic has a direct relationship with personal happiness is a heated discussion at present. It seems that he or she cannot feel happy without having a host of money, therefore the only way to become felicitous is tracing for fortune.
Some people believe that economic is the cornerstone of being happiness. After being wealthy, obviously, you can do plenty of things which you want to do. Apart from tackling the high expenditure of daily life, you will still have money to use freely. Then, it is not unrealistic to own a vast number of good things which are expensive, such as advanced products, foreign food, and abroad trips. In other words, money can buy almost all the things they want. Moreover, the best education and social welfare will be accessible. Specially, you can get a great circumstance to make effort to be better. Last but not least, money is a more effective and easy way to judge the extent of success of a person. There is no doubt that people want to earn more money to prove his or her ability.
On the other hand, there are also some people suppose that being happiness relies on other different factors. First of all, numerous researches show that there are vary kinds of things boost the feeling of success, including marriage, health, working environment and income. It is easy to realize that the source of happiness is not only money, but also the positive related things. What is more, many people living in poor still have a happy life because they are pretty optimistic and keep the active spirit. Last but not least, money cannot buy everything, such as friendship, true love, health and time. Therefore, money is not the only thing we struggle for.
Based on all the arguments offered above, I, definitely, agree with the latter one that tells us happiness stems from various things. To be economic success, certainly, is a way to be happy, but not the only way. 展开
你的文章写得很好，如果是定时完成更了不起，应该在5.5分左右，有些地方可以进一步完善。以下修改意见仅为参考。
Whether economically successful has a direct relationship with personal happiness is a heated discussion at present.
It seems that he or she cannot feel happy without having a host of money, therefore the only way to become felicitous is tracing for fortune.
It is unclear.
Some people believe that economic is the cornerstone of being happiness.
Being wealthy, you can obviously do many things want to do.
Apart from covering the daily cost, you will still have spare money to use freely.
Then, it is not unrealistic to own a vast number of luxury goods, such as advanced products, foreign food, and abroad trips.
In other words, money can buy almost everything they want.
Moreover, the best education and life style will be possible.
(the social welfare should not be only for the rich)
Specially, you can get a great circumstance to make effort to be better.
(what do you mean by this? it is not clear?)
Last but not least, money has been used by many people as a measure of success of a person.
Therefore, many people want to make more money to prove them successful.
On the other hand, some people believe that being happiness relies on other different factors not only money.
First of all, numerous researches show that there are different kinds of things that can enhance the feeling of success, such as happy marriage, good health, nice work environment and income. Income is only a part of all these different factors.
It is not difficult to be aware the real source of happiness is not only money as we can see many tragedies that has been caused by money with the rich people.
What is more, many people living in poor condition still have a happy life because they are pretty optimistic and keep strong belief that they can improve their life through hard work, and it is work that make them happy.
Finally, money cannot buy everything, such as friendship, true love, health and time. Therefore, money should not be the only thing we work for.
(Last but not least, is a good clause but you cannot use it again)
In conclusion, I agree with the latter and believe that happiness stems from many different things. Being economically successful plays only a small role in getting happiness. It is not the sole solution for happiness at all.
