托福作文求批改!!急!!另有一题求范文!!
求范文题目:Doyouagreewith:thefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwithismoreimportantthanthefriendsthat...
求范文题目:Do you agree with: the friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can get help from?
求批改题目:Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?
Education is always a big problem even now or past. It is regarded as the symbol of power of a country. And, people are always tries to improve the way of education. But someone questioned that if education now really better than past. As a student, I’d love to say the education now is actually improved and certainly better than the education in the past. That is to say, people are now easier to become educated than in the past because of the popularity and the abundant source of education.
First of all , the education today is much more popular than the education in the past. In the past, many country only offered education to the rich. This cause most people even have no chance to study. Then with the improvement of the economy and the improvement of science technology, every country encouraged that everyone should be educated. And then there are more and more schools so that there are more students than in the past. The most important is the policy of advanced education. That is to say, government forced every child to go to school at least 9 years or 12 years. The date is different from country to country. The policy strongly increase the amount of educated people.
Another reason --- the abundant source of education. In another word, there are more teachers, more books and better equipment. In the past, a lot of teachers had poor knowledge. They often taught students wrong knowledge. Just take my father’s teacher as example. He is a math teacher but always can’t explain the problem clearly. So he usually ask my father for help to explain the problem to other students. I know it’s heard unbelievable but it is actually true. So, it is completely right that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.
After understand the reasons above, it is easily to conclude that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. We are so luckily live in such a good time so that we have to cherish the time in school and to be a well educated people. 展开
求批改题目:Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?
Education is always a big problem even now or past. It is regarded as the symbol of power of a country. And, people are always tries to improve the way of education. But someone questioned that if education now really better than past. As a student, I’d love to say the education now is actually improved and certainly better than the education in the past. That is to say, people are now easier to become educated than in the past because of the popularity and the abundant source of education.
First of all , the education today is much more popular than the education in the past. In the past, many country only offered education to the rich. This cause most people even have no chance to study. Then with the improvement of the economy and the improvement of science technology, every country encouraged that everyone should be educated. And then there are more and more schools so that there are more students than in the past. The most important is the policy of advanced education. That is to say, government forced every child to go to school at least 9 years or 12 years. The date is different from country to country. The policy strongly increase the amount of educated people.
Another reason --- the abundant source of education. In another word, there are more teachers, more books and better equipment. In the past, a lot of teachers had poor knowledge. They often taught students wrong knowledge. Just take my father’s teacher as example. He is a math teacher but always can’t explain the problem clearly. So he usually ask my father for help to explain the problem to other students. I know it’s heard unbelievable but it is actually true. So, it is completely right that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.
After understand the reasons above, it is easily to conclude that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. We are so luckily live in such a good time so that we have to cherish the time in school and to be a well educated people. 展开
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首段:1. Education is always a big problem even now or past. It is regarded as the symbol of power of a country.太抽象,不具体。看完会问,你凭什么这么说,凭什么这就是symbol。
2. people are always tries 发现语法问题没?
3. But someone questioned that if education now really better than past.这句话给人以什么感觉呢?就相当于前一句刚说凤姐是个傻叉,后一句接着说我昨天考了一百分。与前文没关系突然一个but很可怕的。
body段:1.第一个论证段还好。popular你想用policy和 improvement两个方面来解释。所以在第一句话中,一定要提到这两点,然后分别解释。现在来看逻辑性不是很强。还有一个问题就是科技发展人们就鼓励上学?是不是中间要有个量来连接。比如:科技发展---竞争加剧----教育
2 第二段就写得不是很好了。观点很好,但论证不好。In the past, a lot of teachers had poor knowledge. They often taught students wrong knowledge是不是太武断了。读完之后我还是要问,凭什么这么说?就因为你父亲遇到一个垃圾数学老师导致你认为那个年代所有老师都是傻叉?所以写托福作文一定避免绝对化。
结尾段:语法错误:After understand ?after是介词,understand是动词,意识到没?
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2. people are always tries 发现语法问题没?
3. But someone questioned that if education now really better than past.这句话给人以什么感觉呢?就相当于前一句刚说凤姐是个傻叉,后一句接着说我昨天考了一百分。与前文没关系突然一个but很可怕的。
body段:1.第一个论证段还好。popular你想用policy和 improvement两个方面来解释。所以在第一句话中,一定要提到这两点,然后分别解释。现在来看逻辑性不是很强。还有一个问题就是科技发展人们就鼓励上学?是不是中间要有个量来连接。比如:科技发展---竞争加剧----教育
2 第二段就写得不是很好了。观点很好,但论证不好。In the past, a lot of teachers had poor knowledge. They often taught students wrong knowledge是不是太武断了。读完之后我还是要问,凭什么这么说?就因为你父亲遇到一个垃圾数学老师导致你认为那个年代所有老师都是傻叉?所以写托福作文一定避免绝对化。
结尾段:语法错误:After understand ?after是介词,understand是动词,意识到没?
望采纳
有什么不明白的加Q交流吧:402843663
加油哦
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