英语短文改错 急!

有十处错误亲们帮忙啊我财富值不多了……全放出来了……帮帮忙吧……考试啊……Recentlywehaveholdadiscussionoverwhethertheyoung... 有十处错误 亲们帮忙啊 我财富值不多了……全放出来了……帮帮忙吧……考试啊……

Recently we have hold a discussion over whether the young couples should stay with their parents and live on the income of their parents. They called “kenlaozu ” in Chinese. Each student express his opinion. As far as I am concern, it is wrong for the youngsters to live in this way. They should go out to work and try their best to make a living ourselves. Although they have fewer opportunity to find jobs and get high salaries, but they should at least find a proper job and try to support themselves instead staying at home. As matter of fact, their parents are becoming old and they should live happily and peaceful. It used to be very difficult to have brought their children up and they needn’t have responsibility to continue to support the youngsters
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rachel0623
2012-11-06 · TA获得超过182个赞
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1. over---> about
2. and ---> or
3. express---> expresses
4. am concern---> concern
5. ourselves---> themselves
6. opportunity--->opportunties
7. but--->去掉
8. instead--->instead of
9. matter---> a matter
10. peaceful--->peacefully
maple20033
2012-11-06 · TA获得超过3754个赞
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  第一行hold-->held
  第一行去掉the
  第二行在They后加are
  第三行concern-->concerned
  第四行ourselves-->themselves
  第四行opportunity-->opportunities
  第六行instead 后加of
  第六行As后加 a
  第七行peaceful-->peacefully
  第八行去掉have
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KATESCORPIOfa
2012-11-06 · TA获得超过3.2万个赞
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Recently we have hold a discussion over whether the young couples should stay with their parents and live on the income of their parents. They (are)called “kenlaozu ” in Chinese. Each student express(ed) his opinion. As far as I am concern, it is wrong for the youngsters to live in this way. They should go out to work and try their best to make a living ourselves(themselves). Although they have fewer opportunity(opportunities) to find jobs and get high(higher) salaries, but (去掉but)they should at least find a proper job and try to support themselves instead (of)staying at home. As (a)matter of fact, their parents are becoming old and they should live happily and peaceful(peacefully). It used to be very difficult to have brought their children up and they needn’t (don't)have responsibility to continue to support the youngsters
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fresh19900
2012-11-06
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1第二行去掉over 2第五行 在called前加are 3第七行concern改成concerned 4ourselves改成themselves 5opportunity改成opportunitifs 6去掉but 7instead后加of 8matter前加the 9peaceful变peacefully 10needn't 变need not
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