Question

英语话剧 五个人演的 最好搞笑

Answer 1

1 大臣（1）: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the prince-dancing ball. This night, our worshipful Prince Edward（这时，王子走了出来，向所有来宾鞠躬）will select the most beautiful and kindest girl to be his queen .Now, young girls, come to the front, please! （女孩子们走上前） 大臣（2）：（将头转向王子）Highness，how are they? Which one do you like? 王子: （皱起眉头）Mmm…I don’t think they are… (Cinderella suddenly comes in) 大臣们: （惊叹）Wow! How beautiful THAT girl is! （众来宾惊恐地回过头） 旁白：She's like a fairy. She's like an Angel. She's so lovely. She's like a princess. How pretty Cinderella is! 王子:(走上前，鞠躬) Pretty lady, may I be honored to dance with you? 灰姑娘: I'd love to.（握住王子的手，开始跳舞） (Music and dance) 旁白:Beautiful Cinderella and handsome Prince Edward are dancing. They fall in love. (12点的钟声猛然敲响了,敲了6下) 灰姑娘: Oh, it's time to go back. I must go now. I am sorry that I cannot dance with you any more, sir! 王子: Wait, miss, please wait! （追上去） 灰姑娘：(急忙地跑，掉了一只鞋)Good bye, sir! 王子: (拿起鞋)Pretty lady! Why are you leaving? I must find you!! Soldiers!！ 士兵们: Yes!! 王子: Take this shoe to every house and let all the young girls have a try tomorrow morning. You must find the girl for me. FAST! 士兵们: Yes, highness! 第四场布景：灰姑娘家的花园中 灰姑娘:（失去了魔法的帮助，变回了原样）Oh…He was gentle, he was handsome, oh! I cannot forget him… I love him! But I hadn’t found Prince Edward and danced with him yet… 鸽子: Cinderella, don’t you know? The man who danced with you was PRINCE EDWARD!! （猫和变回原样的狗点头附和） 灰姑娘:REALLY?? My goodness!! （捂住嘴巴，不敢相信的样子） Oops, I am sorry…I haven’t done the housework! Mum, Helen and Jenny will back soon! They will be angry! See you soon, buddies! （哼着小曲跳走了） 第五场布景：灰姑娘家 （士兵敲门） 士兵（3）:Good morning, madam. 后妈: Good morning. What’s the matter, sir? 士兵: Are there any young girls in this house, madam? 士兵（2）: The pretty lady lost her shoe in the palace. 士兵（3）: The prince wanted to find her and marry her. 后妈:（笑着说）Of course, sir, wait a minute!（往身后招招手，让女儿（1）过来） 后妈女儿（1）: （急急忙忙跑上前）Let me try. The shoe is mine.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵: No, It's not yours. It's too small for you.（把鞋子拿开） 后妈女儿（2）: （跳着大喊）It's mine. I AM the queen. Let me try it.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵（2）: No, it's not yours; it's too big for you.（再次把鞋子拿开） 后妈: Hey, sir, maybe it's mine. Let me have a try. （急忙想要去穿鞋子） 士兵（3）:（马上把鞋子拿走）Oh, please, it couldn't be YOURS. Are there any other girls in this house? 灰姑娘: Good morning, gentlemen, may I try it? （款款走来） 后妈 :You? That’s impossible! （大喊着，做出“快滚”的手势） 后妈女儿（1）: Look at yourself, PLEASE! （讥笑） 后妈女儿（2）: So dirty and so ugly! Please not to waste the solders’ time! （讽刺） 士兵: Oh, ladies, let her try! Prince Edward said that all the young girls should have a try. Here, young girl, try it on, please! （送上鞋） 灰姑娘:（轻轻把脚伸进去）Thank you! (试鞋,正好合适) 后妈和两个女儿：It couldn’t be Cinderella! It couldn’t be!! Maybe there’s something wrong, sir! （疯了一样大叫） 2 白:Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today. (灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场) 旁白：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport. Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9) Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮) Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒) This is her----Cinderella 灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish? 旁白:Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is----- 继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful. (灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆) (一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗) (一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服) 第一幕 (灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀) 二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street. The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife. 一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world. 二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen. (两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻) 继母:Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters! 灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------ (三人敛神) 一姐:Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ? 二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh 3 小狮子找食物 （I Am Hungry） 角色：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠、小女孩。 道具：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠头套、红萝卜、花生一把、苹果一个。 Act 1 雄狮：（怒吼）Roar, roar! I am the lion, the king of the forest. No one is stronger than me. Roar, roar! 小狮：Daddy! I’m hungry. 雄狮：You are big now. Be brave! Go and find your own food. 小狮：But, I don’t know how. 雄狮：Do it like me. Roar, roar! （怒吼） 小狮：（小声地）Roar, roar! 雄狮：Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.（ 露出尖利的牙齿） Go and do it now. 小狮：Yes, daddy. Act 2 小白兔：（唱”Rabbit, R 693535747 19:39:38 abbit, Carrot Eater”） Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater. He says there is nothing sweeter, Than a carrot everyday, Munch and crunch and run away. 小狮：Hi, rabbit! I am hungry. Roar, roar!（小声地） 小白兔：Do you want some carrots? 小狮：Yes, please. （小白兔递给小狮一根红萝卜） 小狮：Thank you. 小白兔：Carrots are the best food. 小狮：（吃了一口）Yuck! I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, rabbit. （还红萝卜给小白兔） 小白兔：You are welcome. （边跳边唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater” 离开） Act 3 小松鼠：（唱着”Found a Peanut”） Found a peanut. Found a peanut. Found a peanut 693535747 19:39:38 just now. Just now I found a peanut. Found a peanut just now. 小狮：Hi, squirrel! I am hungry. Roar, roar! （小声地） 小松鼠：Do you want some peanuts? 小狮：Yes, please. （小松鼠递给小狮一些花生） 小狮：Thank you. 小松鼠：Peanut is the best food. 小狮：（吃了一颗）Yuck! It’s too hard. I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, squirrel. （将花生还给小松鼠） 小松鼠：You are welcome. （边走边唱”Found a Peanut”离开） Act 4 （小女孩边走边唱”Apple Round”） 小女孩：Apple round. Apple red. Apple juicy. Apple sweet. 4 Global warming A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone. B． C. D ：Good afternoon, teacher. A. First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B. I think it’s the problem of environment pollution. A. It’s related to our correct answer. But it isn’t correct one. B. Is it the problem of population increasing? A. No. C. Oh. I got it. It’s global warming. A. Right! Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays. Because…… B. Teacher. I have a question. It was very cold indeed this winter. I think it’s global cooling! A. You got the wrong concept. Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control. So it will be sometimes very cold. B. Teacher. What causes “ global warming”? C. I know. Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature. It causes global warming. A. You are right. Do you know what will happen with the global warming? B. Yes. The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water. Human will have no places to live. C. Surely, we don’t want that will happen. A. What sould we do to stop “Global warming”? B. I think we can protect the environment from ourselves. We can plant trees C. When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves. A. Ok. Students, we can’t only speak but not do later . Let us go planting trees. D. Oh, teacher! Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day! A. Yes! Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment. B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland! A. That is good . I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment. Now the class is over bye-bye students! B.C.D. good bye. Teacher.

Answer 2

搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三：Yes.

Action II

（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）

荆轲
Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁
Yes.

荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.

李莫愁
Are you challenging me?

荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意

李莫愁
Come on!

音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

荆柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now! （本文来自天空剧本网）

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

荆柯：I am very very busy now!

阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!

阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.

阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .

太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.

荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……

荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

Action Ш

（《大话西游》主题曲响起）

荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.

（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）

荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.

妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)

妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.

妻子:"I promise."

荆轲:"Never let go. “

妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）

妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……

妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.

阿三：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.

结束！
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