Question

这段英文歌词翻译得对吗?

THE OLD MAN SPOKE UP IN A BAR
这个老头在酒吧侃侃而谈,
SAID I NEVER BEEN IN PRISON
说着他从来不曾进过监狱.
A LIFETIME SERVING ONE MACHINE
一生为了一台机器而服务
IS TEN TIMES WORSE THAN PRISON
远比呆在监狱更糟糕.
IMAGINE IF ALL THE BOYS IN JAIL
想象所有的男孩都进了监狱
COULD GET OUT NOW TOGETHER
现在又能一起出来
WHADDA YOU THINK THEY'D WANT TO SAY TO US?
你想他们能对你说些什么吗?
WHILE WE WAS BEING CLEVER
当我们变得更聪明的时候.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL MEET YOUR ROCKING CHAIR
有一天你会碰见你的摇椅,
COS THAT'S WHERE WE'RE SPINNING
因为我们曾在这里纺织
THERE'S NO POINT TO want to COMB YOUR HAIR
你麻木地梳理你的头发
WHEN IT'S GREY AND THINNING
发现它们变得灰白而且稀疏
RUN ready RUN
跑吧 ,跑吧,
STRIKE OUT BOYS, FOR THE HILLS
冲上上坡.
I CAN FIND THAT HOLE IN THE WALL
我能在墙上找到那个洞
AND I KNOW THAT THEY NEVER WILL
我知道他们永远不会再下决心.

这是bank robber这首歌的一段歌词,我感觉有的地方翻译得不通顺.请高手帮我改进一下,译的好我会再加分.别从网上抄,我能看得出来,而且我这就是从网上找的.

Answer 1

你的歌词有些本身就不对哦。。。我专门听了下歌。不是we was being clever,是We were ， Run, Ready Run, 那不是ready, 是Daddy . 你听全歌。 还有倒数第二句，不是I can , 是I can't

THE OLD MAN SPOKE UP IN A BAR
老头在酒吧侃侃而谈,
SAID I NEVER BEEN IN PRISON
说他从不曾进监狱.
A LIFETIME SERVING ONE MACHINE
一生服役于一台机器
IS TEN TIMES WORSE THAN PRISON
比呆在监狱更糟糕十倍.
IMAGINE IF ALL THE BOYS IN JAIL
想象所有被监禁的男孩
COULD GET OUT NOW TOGETHER
能够一同被释放
WHADDA YOU THINK THEY'D WANT TO SAY TO US?
你认为他们能告诉我们些什么呢？
WHILE WE WERE BEING CLEVER
在我们都还很精明的时候
SOMEDAY YOU'LL MEET YOUR ROCKING CHAIR
有一天你会遇见你的摇摇椅,
COS THAT'S WHERE WE'RE SPINNING
因为那是我们一起旋转的地方
THERE'S NO POINT TO want to COMB YOUR HAIR
梳理头发已经毫无意义
WHEN IT'S GREY AND THINNING
在它们变得灰白而且稀疏的时候
RUN ，Daddy, RUN
跑 ,爸爸，跑啊
STRIKE OUT BOYS, FOR THE HILLS
劈开那群男孩，跑到山上去
I CAN't FIND THAT HOLE IN THE WALL
我无法找到那个墙上的洞
AND I KNOW THAT THEY NEVER WILL
我知道他们也别想找到。

Answer 2

IMAGINE IF ALL THE BOYS IN JAIL
想象所有的男孩都进了监狱
COULD GET OUT NOW TOGETHER
现在又能一起出来

改：想想如果所有坐牢的男孩们现在都能被一同释放。

WHADDA YOU THINK THEY'D WANT TO SAY TO US?
你想他们能对你说些什么吗?

改：你认为他们会告诉我们什么呢？

WHILE WE WAS BEING CLEVER
当我们变得更聪明的时候.

改：当我们还有智慧的时候。（接上句）

COS THAT'S WHERE WE'RE SPINNING
因为我们曾在这里纺织
THERE'S NO POINT TO want to COMB YOUR HAIR
你麻木地梳理你的头发

改：因为那是我们旋转的地方。
想梳头是没有意义的。

STRIKE OUT BOYS, FOR THE HILLS
冲上上坡.

改：男孩们，让我们冲向群山。

AND I KNOW THAT THEY NEVER WILL
我知道他们永远不会再下决心.

改：而且我知道他们永远无法找到。

Answer 3

还可以