Question

可否请各位帮我检查一下下面这篇英语作文有什么错误?也可以提些建议。谢谢。

Here are results of the student in our class "what are you going to be when you grow up".Ten students are going to be a teacher when they grow up.They are going to study hard in all lesson.Five students are going to be the soccer player and going to play soccer every day.Three students are want to be an actor when they grow up.They are going to take acting lesson.

Answer 1

句式太单一了，，全是XX students are going to do，合理运用will。XX of the them之类的短语
反复出现的句型会使读者觉得索然无味
还有一些小问题，比如单复数，are want是两个动词，应该去掉are

Answer 2

一、注意句型的变换，不要总是使用单一的句式。
二、避免重复
三、文中的小错误;lesson---lessons; going to 应去掉，避免重复；are 去掉，be动词不能和动词原型并列实用；acting---an active

Answer 3

第一行 here are后加the student变复数

Answer 4

lesson:lessons
grow up:grow up?
here are results:here are some results