Question

求一篇英语笑话，要求简单的容易背下来，两个人（男的）对话形式，两人背诵6分钟左右完成。快点回答！

求一篇英语笑话，要求简单的容易背下来，两个人（男的）对话形式，两人背诵6分钟左右完成。 要有中英对照，句式可以复杂，但是要容易背下来才行，俩人分工明确的对话。两个人脱稿讲这个笑话，时间要达到六分钟！要有中英互译，最好让我知道怎么读！ 快点回答！

Answer 1

我们分享一切

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything." “没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." “她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点？”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
【注释】
1. take pity on 怜悯，同情，例：take pity on the weak 怜惜弱者
2. 一起来学习一下convince这个词：
a. 使相信，使确信
convince sb. of sth. 例：The officials were eager to convince us of the safety of the nuclear reactors. 官员们急切想要让我们相信核反应堆是安全的。
b. 说服（某人做某事）= persuade
convince sb. to do sth. 例：I've been trying to convince Jean to come with me. 我一直在尝试说服Jean和我一起去。

The Preacher Buys a Parrot

传教士买鹦鹉

A preacher is buying a parrot.

一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗？”传教士问。

"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

“噢，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主向他保证。

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗？当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经；当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。”

"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

“太棒了！”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢？”

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋！”鹦鹉尖声说道。

这个笑话中出现了三个含有“大喊”、“大叫”意思的词语：scream，yell 和 screech。
scream 指“因痛苦、恐惧、惊奇、快乐等而发出尖叫声”，如：
She screamed when she saw the child fall. 当她看见那个孩子跌倒时，她尖声叫了起来。
yell 多指求援、鼓励时的呼叫，也可指因外界因素刺激而发出尖厉声音。如：
yell the team to victory 用喊声鼓励运动队取胜
screech 指“发出尖锐刺耳的声音”，如：
The car screeched to a halt. 车子发出尖嘎声停了下来。

Answer 2

二：老师：我们都知道，拍对象扩大冷cauese合同。现在，任何人都可以给我一个很好的例子吗？
约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
老师：我们都知道的道理的热膨胀和收缩。现在，谁给我一个例子吗？
约翰：嗯，在夏天，天都长，在冬天天都短。

Answer 3

"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." “她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点？”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”

Answer 4

I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”
“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？
约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。