Question

请帮我看一下有无语法错误，O(∩_∩)O谢谢

Hello everyone, my name is Aman Chang. I am 13 years old girl from a Peony Capital - Heze. Now the Peony District Experimental Middle school. I am a cheerful, lively, friendly girl, usually like reading and outings. At home, my father and mother and I get along very well, I love my mom and dad. In school, I have many friends, I get along well with them. I most like subject is English and Chinese, I think the two languages are full of wisdom, some people think they are very difficult to learn, but I believe everything, as long as the efforts, there will be return. I'm good at music, although it is difficult to learn, but I feel very happy, because, I have a dream, when I grow up to become a music producer. This is me, a sunshine girl!

Answer 1

才13啊，这个改起来有些困难，改多了，有些单词怕你不认识；语法和事态不知道你学完了没有，我尽量改的简单点儿吧：
Hello everyone, my name is Aman Chang. I am a 13-year old girl from the Peony Capital- Heze. I study in the Peony District Experimental jonior high school(初中）. I am a cheerful, lively, friendly girl, and like reading and outings(outing是什么意思？户外活动？如果是可以译成outdoor sports）. At home, my mom,dad and I get along very well, I love them. At school, I have many friends, I get along well with them. I favorite subjects are English and Chinese, because I think the two languages are full of wisdom, some people think they are very difficult to learn, but I believe no pains, no gains. I'm good at music, although it is difficult to learn, but I feel very happy, because, I have a dream, when I grow up, I will become a music producer. This is me, a sunshine girl!

Good luck!

追问

这个是准备比赛用的，生单词没关系，我会去查辞典学的，那个户外活动是郊游，谢谢你，再帮我整理一下吧！O(∩_∩)O谢谢！

追答

那我就把句式都给你改一下下，因为你用"我"字太多了，这也是初学者的易犯的一个毛病：
Hello everyone, my name is Aman Chang, a 13-year old girl from the Peony Capital- Heze, where lies my school, the Peony District Experimental jonior high. As a cheerful, lively and friendly girl, I feel like reading and filed trip. At home, my mom,dad and I really get along and I love them so much. At school, I have many friends, whom I get along with, too. My favorite subjects are English and Chinese, for in my opinion, the two languages are full of wisdom. Some people think it is very difficult to learn, however, I believe no pains, no gains. I'm good at music, despite it is difficult to learn, but I still feel very happy due to a dream I have, after growing up, I would become a music producer. This is me, a sunshine girl!

话说，这对13岁母语不是英语的孩子来讲，有些困难了。

Answer 2

Hello everyone, my name is Aman Chang. I am 13 years old girl who comes from a Peony Capital - Heze. Now I'm in the Peony District Experimental Middle school. I am a cheerful, lively, friendly girl, I like reading and outings. At home, my father and mother and I get along very well, I love my mom and dad. At school, I have many friends, I get along well with them, too. My favourite subjects are English and Chinese, I think the two languages are full of wisdom, some people think they are very difficult to learn, but I believe everything, as long as the efforts, there will be return. I'm good at music, although it is difficult to learn,too , but I steel feel very happy, because, when I grow up ,I want to become a music producer. This is me, a hopeful girl!