Question

求助，英语作文

我写的一片英语考试作文，请帮忙修改下，谢谢！

Answer 1

全文还不错，少有语法上的错误，只是有些内容上的小不足，我在这里提出来楼主可以看下：第一句生病和祝福用两句写，hope没有wish的感情强烈，推荐用wish，不过hope也可以用。
这句话：我们都初三，所以我知道你的感觉。这句话在上下文中较突兀，逻辑不连贯，和前后句没什么关系，建议简单说下是怎样的辛苦，例如每天好多作业等。

work very hard 改成 study hard
diving a sea of exercises这句话是个中文表达的直译，会有少许扣分。可直接写成 a plenty of

下面一段开头说的sports，后可以列举些体育运动。。说下运动good for health,good for willpower,reduce stress
这样和上一段很好的呼应了，也加强了你的观点，另外作为书信，还可以问下你喜欢什么样的运动之类的，这样整个文章从结构上来看，也是这段内容最多，比较平衡。 以上，若有疑问可追问可补充，若有帮助请采纳~O(∩_∩)O~谢谢~

Answer 2

Dear Li Ming,
I'm sorry to hear that you've been ill for days and I hope you'll get well soon. We're all students in Senior 3, so I know your feeling.
In order to get good grades in the College Entrance Examination, we have to work hard. It is a great press to us, but I'd like you to know that working hard to prepare for the coming exam doesn't only mean going over the textbooks and doing exercises, some other activities also count, for example, sports.
You need to do sports, and doing exercise as well as listening to music is a great idea. In this way, you can not only feel less stressed but also keep in good health. As we know, we can do nothing without a heathy body, so let's play enough sports.
Best wishes to you.
Yours,
Li Hua

Answer 3

I want you to know
You need to do sports
must改成have to似乎会更好一点
语法上没有大问题，结构和句子组织上可以再下功夫。
第二段写明了其他活动对高考有帮助，第三段就要更集中的阐述这些活动如何有帮助。
For example,doing some exercises will reduce stress and build a stronger body.Listening to music will keep you in good mood and stay away from anxiety.Activites besides studying can keep a balanced life for you.Let's start from little and do it.

Answer 4

第一句生病了和祝福拆开成两句
希望你病好，不要用hope，用wish，具体区别和用法自己百度一下..
我们都初三，所以我知道你的感觉。这句话有点逻辑不连贯，和前句也没什么关系，比如你可以在里面加上一个过渡，我们一样辛苦之类的。

work very hard 改成 study hard
diving a sea of exercises这句话是个中文表达的直译。。我觉得这句话你可以用not only..but also..句式表达

下面一段开头说的sports，为什么紧接着一句又有music呢？可以枚举些体育运动。。说下运动good for health,good for willpower,reduce stress
这样和上一段很好的呼应了，也加强了你的观点，另外作为书信，还可以问下你喜欢什么样的运动之类的，这样整个文章从结构上来看，也是这段内容最多，比较平衡。

Answer 5

Dear Li Ming
I am sorry to hear that you have been ill for days and I hope you are better now. Since we are both seniors (美国最后一年高中叫senior）, I know exactly what you feel.
We must work hard in order to do well on the College Entrance Examination, which brings a lot pressure to bear upon us. However, it is important to know that working hard doesn't merely means to read textbooks and doing a sea of exercise; Other activities, such as sports, can also plays an important role in our daily life.
Enough time of sports is needed and necessary and listening to music while playing sports is a good way to maintain healthy. Not only does it help refresh yourself, but also strengthen your physical body.
Health is an important thing, without which you can do nothing, so let's do more sports while studying.