Question

这是1分钟的英文自我介绍，请英语好的同学帮我找一下语法或者单词错误，能帮我改进的话更好了，会加分的

Thank you for giving me the chance to interview ,and ti is my pleasure to introduce myself to you.My name is xxx,I came from a small town in HeBei province.
I major in clinic medicine and will graduate from the Inner Mogolia Medicine University in July,2013.During the past five years,I have learned systematically the theory of normal human body and illnesses and got the basic skills about clinic examination
额。。。请英语专业的来。 高中生还是绕道吧

Answer 1

给你如下建议：
Respected professors,【称谓很重要】
Thank you for giving me the chance to 【the】 interview. It is my pleasure to introduce myself to you.My name is xxx from a small town in Hebei Province.
I major in clinic medicine and will graduate from the Inner Mogolia 【Medical】 University 【我查了一下，贵校名字是Medical, 不是Medicine，缩写为IMMU】in July this year【今年一般不用数字2103】. During the past five years, I have learned systematically the theory of 【normal --- 这个词从感觉上看不需要，但我没有查到贵校的相关专业介绍，我理解为‘人体与疾病理论’】 human body and illness as well as the basic skills 【in】 clinic examination.
另外，你前面说学的是clinic medicine临床医学，最后是clinic examination临床检查，不知何故？

【仅供参考】

Answer 2

总的来说还是不错的，但有以下几个小错需要改正；

came from要改为come from

HeBei要改为Hebei

Medicine University要Medical University

learned systematically 要交换位置

希望对你有所帮助。学习进步、快乐！

• 我是高中英语老师，高级教师，请相信我，没错的。

Answer 3

订正：“and ti is my pleasure to introduce myself to you”中的“ti is”改为“it is”
知识点：
thank you for sth ：为......而感谢
came from（come from） ：来自......
graduate from ：毕业于......
in july ，2013 ：讲述时间，先说月份再说年份。
月份前用in。
have +pp ：现在完成时

不知满不满足，，不过，我知道的都写上去了，，，= =

Answer 4

it is my pleasure.....
systematically放到末尾比较好。
最后分开， i have got the basic skills about clinic examination......
求赞求满意。

Answer 5

第一段没什么错，以下是推荐版，是我之前面试的时候的说辞，供参考。It is a great honour for me to have the opportunity to interview, now i'd like to introduce myself briefly.
i major in clinic medicine and i will graduate from ...后面挺好
直到i have learned the theory of normal human body and illnesses systematically, 加个连接词会好一点，如besides 或 moreover, 获得知识和技能用 acquire professional skills in clinic examination.

刚考完雅思，请参考。另祝面试顺利！

Answer 6

Hello, everyone. It is my great hounour to have the chance to introduce myself.
I come from不是came from
Hebei Province
最后一句got改成have got
最后最好再加上That's all. Thank you for your listening.
抱歉中间部分还没想到怎么改。

追问

你确实牛 等你中间部分出来我要好好看看

追答

Distinguished professors, good morning/afternoon! It is my great hounour to have the opportunity to introduce myself. My name is xxx and I come from a small town in Hebei Province. I major in clinic medicine and will graduate from Inner Mongolia Medical University in July this year.Besides, I firmly believe that "No pains, no gains", so I spare no effort to study. Over the past five years, I have learned the theory of human body and illnesses systematically and have got the basic skills in clinic medicine. There is still a long way for me to go and I will keep working hard. That's all. Thank you for your listening.

开头尊称、问好。
中间医学术语的翻译不太确定，特别是这句 I have learned the theory of human body and illnesses systematically and have got the basic skills in clinic medicine.
介绍时肢体动作、表情、语调很重要，语速不宜过快。
大三学生水平有限 望包涵！