Question

哪位大神帮我翻译一下啊，急用，成英语

A: 嗨，早上好啊,B.,，看起来脸色不好啊，怎么了？
B: 哎，别提了，说起来丢人啊。
C: 哈哈，好像挺有趣啊，发生什么了，给我们说说。
B: 哎，是这样的……咦，D，你的左眼怎么和熊猫的一样？是不是被谁打了？
D: 嗯…哦… 昨天晚上不小心撞到的。
A: 你的眼神告诉我不是这样的。哈哈，是不是被你老婆打的？
D: 嗯，，，是的。昨晚我老婆说他亲我一下….
C: 亲一下就亲肿了？
D: 肯定不是啦，我把眼睛闭上等她亲我，谁知道她一拳打过来，就成这样了
C： 你肯定是在什么地方把她惹生气了
D： 我昨天没有陪她去逛街她就生气了，
A: 哈哈，你老婆很可爱啊，想出这种办法收拾你
D: 嘿，A，我觉得你肯定是受虐狂
B： 听你这样说我心理就平衡多了
C： 嗯，那你是怎么回事呢，
B： 我啊，昨天忙，没有洗澡，她不让我跟她睡。那我只有睡沙发了….

Answer 1

A: 嗨，早上好啊,
A: Hi, good morning,
B.,，看起来脸色不好啊，怎么了？
B., don't look good, ah, how?
B: 哎，别提了，说起来丢人啊。
B: hey, don't mention it, said a disgrace.
C: 哈哈，好像挺有趣啊，发生什么了，给我们说说。
C: haha, seems quite interesting, what happened, to tell us.
B: 哎，是这样的……咦，
B: hey, is this...... Hey,
D，你的左眼怎么和熊猫的一样？是不是被谁打了？
D, how come your left eye like pandas? Is it right? Who play?
D: 嗯…哦… 昨天晚上不小心撞到的。
D: well... Oh. Be careful not to hit the last night.
A: 你的眼神告诉我不是这样的。哈哈，是不是被你老婆打的？
A: your eyes tell me that it's not. Ha ha, is it right? Is your wife?
D: 嗯，，，是的。昨晚我老婆说他亲我一下….
D: well,,, yes. Last night my wife said he kissed me... .
C: 亲一下就亲肿了？
C: kiss kiss swollen?
D: 肯定不是啦，我把眼睛闭上等她亲我，谁知道她一拳打过来，就成这样了
D: definitely not, I closed my eyes. She kissed me, who knows she is a punch up, just like this
C：你肯定是在什么地方把她惹生气了
C: you must have her angry at what place
D：我昨天没有陪她去逛街她就生气了，
D: I did not accompany her to go shopping with her angry yesterday,
A: 哈哈，你老婆很可爱啊，想出这种办法收拾你
A: ha ha, your wife is very cute ah, think of this approach to pick up your
D: 嘿，
D: hey,
A，我觉得你肯定是受虐狂
A, I think you must be a masochist
B：听你这样说我心理就平衡多了
B: listen to you say my mental balance.
C：嗯，那你是怎么回事呢，
C: Well, what do you thing,
B：我啊，昨天忙，没有洗澡，她不让我跟她睡。那我只有睡沙发了….
B: I ah, busy yesterday, didn't take a shower, she doesn't let me sleep with her. I only sleep on the sofa... .

追问

哈哈，其实我逗号后面的D 不是指它在说话，而是提到提到他的名字，太感谢你了，

追答

呵呵.你又没说清楚.

Answer 2

A: hi, good morning ah, B., and look not good ah, how? B: ah, don't mention it,
is a disgrace. C: haha, seems quite interesting, what happened, tell us about.
B: hey, is this... Hey, D, how do you like the panda's left eye? Was beaten by
who? D: well... Oh... Accidentally bumped into last night. A: your eyes tell me
it is not. Ha ha, is your wife dozen? D: well,,, yes. Last night my wife says he
kiss me... C: just kiss swollen? D: definitely not, I put my eyes closed,
waiting her kiss me, who know she A punch to come over, just like this C: are
you sure is in what place she provoked angry D: I didn't accompany her to go
shopping yesterday, she was angry, A: ha ha, your wife is very lovely, come up
with this way to pick up you D: hey, A, I think you must be A masochist B:
listen to you say that my psychological balance more C: well, what about you
what's going on, B: me, too busy yesterday, didn't take A bath, she won't let me
sleep with her. I only sleep sofa