Question

我想要一些英语幽默的小故事。（简单点）

我想要一些英语幽默的小故事。简单点，我只是个初中生，想要增加阅读能力。如果有个网站就更好了。

Answer 1

中式英语：

昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就 面带微笑的：
前台小姐：“hello?”
老外：“hi.”
前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
老外：“can you speak English? ”
前台小姐：“if I not speak English, I am speaking what?”　
老外：“can anybody else speak English? ”
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing, no people
have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.”
老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English?”
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”
老外：“I want to speak to your head.”
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”

Answer 2

英语笑话:Three Surgeons 三个外科医生Three famous surgeons were bragging about（吹嘘，炫耀） their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist（小提琴家） ." "That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched（缝纫，装订） them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior（后部，臀部） - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术，“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”“这算不了什么，”另一个说，“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸，除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”

Answer 3

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man?"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

Answer 4

http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/48583559.html?si=1

Answer 5

大家不要再沉溺于iphone，ipad神马的啦！影响学习滴！还记得那句谚语吗？“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” 每天玩苹果的，拿不到博士学位。。