Question

跪求双人英语相声稿子！！！要带翻译的 高一水平！！！

如题 急！！

Answer 1

一件“天大”的事
A \"big\" thing

　　甲：昨天咱们学校发生了一件大事，你知道吗？
A: our school a great event happened yesterday, you know?
　　乙：不知道。昨天我正好生病没上学。
B: I don't know. I was sick yesterday, didn't go to school.
　　甲：这件事太吓人了。我亲眼目睹的，当时吓得我差点没尿裤。
A: it's so scary. I've seen, frighten at that time I almost no diapers.
　　乙：啊！什么事这么可怕？快说说！
B: ah! What's so terrible? Tell me quickly!
　　甲：这件事，你得听我从头慢慢说起。
A: this matter, I have to speak slowly. You have to listen to
　　乙：你就别卖关子了。
B: you don't the suspense.
　　甲：它发生在昨天早晨9点59分60秒……
A: it happened in 59 minutes 60 seconds at 9 o 'clock in the morning yesterday...
　　乙：你说10点不就完了！
B: what did you say ten isn't over!

　　甲：当时，吴老师正在给我们班上课。同学们听得特别专注、认真。教室里鸦雀无声，静得地上掉下一根针都能听见，可惜当时就没一个人带针。
A: at the time, Mr Wu is to teach our class. Students listen to particularly focused, serious. The classroom was silent, quiet fell off a needle can be heard on the ground, but it was not a man to take injection.
　　乙：咳！
B: cough!
　　甲：就在这时，坐在窗户旁的我，看见校园里有几位老师，正在饶有兴趣地朝天上望。不一会儿，就围了好几位。再过了一会，又围了几十位。再过了一会，又围了几百位……
A: at this time, sitting in the window, I saw several teacher on campus, are looked on with interest and busy. In a short time, was surrounded by several. Then after a while, again surrounded by dozens of. Again after a while, and surrounded by hundreds of...
　　乙：等会，我们学校哪有这么多老师？
B: wait, where there are so many teachers in our school?
　　甲：呵，后来的好象是学前班的小朋友。
A: oh, then seem to preschool children.
　　乙：你倒看清楚点！
B: you see clear point!
　　甲：吴老师正盯着我，我能看清楚吗！
A: miss wu was staring at me, I can see clear!
　　乙：快说，怎么回事？
B: quick say, what happened?
　　甲：我也朝上看，可头上是楼板，什么也没有。
A: me too, but head is floor, what also have no.
　　乙：废话。快说！到底发生了什么？
B: nonsense. Quick say! What's going on?
　　甲：只见天上，阴云密布，没有太阳，也看不见星星……
A: I saw the sky, clouds, without the sun, also can't see the stars...
　　乙：你咋这么多废话！
B: does your zha so many useless talk!
　　甲：就在这时，天上，突然……好象不是打雷声。
A: at this moment, the sky, suddenly...... If not the thunder.
　　乙：啥？是飞机爆炸啦？
B: what? Is the plane exploded?
　　甲：不是。
A: no.
　　乙：是美国火箭失事啦？
B: are American rocket crash?
　　甲：不是。
A: no.
　　乙：外星人撞电线杆啦？
B: aliens crashed telephone pole?
　　甲：也不是。
A: no.

　　乙：哎呀，快说，你急死我了！
B: ah, quick say, you used me!
　　甲：时间一秒一秒过去。你说吴老师也是，他哪节课都不拖堂，偏偏就这节课拖堂。正在这时，天上掉下……你猜掉下什么？
A: time for a second one second of the past. Which lesson teacher wu is also you say, he didn't finish, just finish the class. At this point the sky... A: guess what falls off.
　　乙：我猜呀？！
B: I guess? !
　　甲：猜猜。
A: guess what.
　　乙：掉下一块大陨石？
B: a large meteorite fell off?
　　甲：不是。比这小。
A: no. Smaller than this.
　　乙：掉下一辆大坦克？
B: drop a big tank?
　　甲：再小点。
A: again small points.
　　乙：一辆拉煤车？
B: a LaMeiChe?
　　甲：小点。
A: small points.
　　乙：马车？
B: the carriage?
　　甲：再小。
A: small again.
　　乙：自行车？
B: the bicycle?
　　甲：不对。你往吃的方面想？
A: no. You go to eat in want to?
　　乙：你早说么！——大天鹅？
B: you said earlier? - the whooper swan?
　　甲：不，含水份的……
A: no, water cut of the...
　　乙：大冬瓜？
B: big wax gourd?
　　甲：有点门，再小点。
A: a little door, again small points.
　　乙：西瓜？
B: watermelon?
　　甲：再小点。
A: again small points.
　　乙：西红柿？
B: tomato?
　　甲：小点。
A: small points.
　　乙：橘子？
B: an orange?
　　甲：小点。
A: small points.
　　乙：葡萄？
B: the grapes?
　　甲：再小点。
A: again small points.
　　乙：还小？我猜不出来了！
B: it is small? I guess not to come out!
　　甲：笨的，是……
A: Ben, is......
　　乙：到底是什么？
B: what?
　　甲：雪花。
A: snowflakes.
　　乙：下雪呀！
B: it snows!