Question

帮忙看看这段话有没有语法错误

I'm writing for an permission that I wish to move into a new room next term, which is a single room
During the past year when I live in this room, the disharmony have emerged one after another. For one thing, I find it very difficult to work and study there because my roommate had always held parties in our room and invite vastly friends to participate it. For another, They had frequently took my things without my license. The man who is unable to comply with the basic moral rules isn't accepted by me though I isn't a stingy person.
I submit, therefore, a request for changing dorm and will appreciate it if my problem receives due attention.

Answer 1

I'm writing an application that I wish to move into a new room，a single room, next term.
During the past year, I live in this room, the disharmony has emerged one after another. For one thing, I find it very difficult to work and study there because my roommate always held parties in our room and invited vastly friends to join in it. For another, they frequently took my things without my permission. The man who is unable to comply with the basic moral rules isn't accepted by me, though I am not a stingy person.
I submit, therefore, an application for changing a dorm. I will appreciate it if my problem receives due attention. Thanks.

我很认真地给你修改过了，请核对。你是申请换宿舍，application更适合。有的地方句式、标点、单词单复数都有改动。最后加Thanks 表示礼貌会更好。

追问

郁闷，还限制字数，上图好了

追答

第一个found较合适
第二个lived正确。可能我忽略了。
第三个，我想尽量少改动你的原句子。既然要改我觉得写成an application about changing a room或dorm 这样表达更准确直接。

开头或写I am writing to aplly for changing a room

Answer 2

I'm writing for a permission that I can move into a new room next term, which is a single room
During the past year when I lived in this room, the disharmony has emerged one after another. For one thing, I found it very difficult to work and study there because my roommate had always held parties in our room and invited vastly friends to participate it. For another, They had frequently taken my things without my license. The man who is unable to comply with the basic moral rules isn't accepted by me though I am not a stingy person.
I submit, therefore, a request for changing dorm and will appreciate it if my problem receives due attention