Question

帮忙看一下我这篇英语作文有没有什么语法错误和不正确的地方

If I have a chance ,the best choice will be lenovo.Lenove is among the area 'best,and I believe the future of lenove is brilliant .Working in such a productive company,I can reach myself worth. On the other hand ,it is said that lenove always train the talent and freshman can grasp chance to contribute to the company.Above all,I match the position and have belief to do the best.I will make it.
I think I am a matural man and have a sense of responsibility.Besides,I'd like to make friends and ready to help others .of course,I have some shortages in my character also:I’m a introvert man and not good at talk with others and.When I have met difficult,I didn’t know I should what to do,but I believe I will change the shortage of my character in the future.
I think it is suitable for me to enter the Ministry of Finance if I can workink in the lenovo company.because I like Mathematics very much and I can follow own profession interests but also I’m a introvert man and not good at talk with others so that I choose the Financial sector. I would like to try my best if your company give the opportunity. Anyway,I will improve myself day by day rather than be disheartened if I don't get the opportunity in the end

Answer 1

Lenovo is my fasination.It is the best and the largest corporation not only in this area but also in my mind.The company has a strong mass production line and many experienced workers, who will make a brilliant fufure for the company.Working in such a productive company,I can enrich myself and find my personal value because I know, as a world prestigious company, Lenove will do its best to train the talent freshmen and lead them to contribute to company. I like to take challenges and be ready to devote all my enthusiasm to the company.
I am a matural man and frankly, responsible for every works I take over.Besides,I'd like to make friends and be willing to help others.Although, honestly, I have some weakness such as a little nervous when meeting poeple, I believe I can change it because my positive mind always leads me getting better and better throughout my life.
Above all, if posssible, I'd like to work in the Ministry of Finance because I exel at Mathematics and know much professional knowledge about finance. Also, my "introvertness" builds me a prudent and accountable personality as a financial officer.
I would like to try my best to realize my value in Lenovo.

哥们，你的文章问题太大了，这是我给你改的，祝你能争取上这个工作

Answer 2

not good at talk 应该是talking
be good at doing sth

I can reach myself worth
个人认为有点不地道，像中国式英语

it is said that lenove always train the talent and freshman can grasp 应该是it is said that lenove always train the talent and freshman who can grasp ,加一个关系词就对了
When I have met difficult应该是When I met difficulties,没必要用完成时

您好像在写求职信吧,要知道外国人认为内向是很大的问题，所以即使你比较内向也没必要写出来的。还有，您所写的缺点有点大，可以换一个小一点的，无关紧要一点的。当然了，只是个人意见仅供参考

Answer 3

你的文章怎么这么多错误啊，就是中国式英语，这实在是不行，上面这位朋友改过之后倒还是可以的，顶了！