简短的搞笑英语句子集锦
【篇一】简短的搞笑英语句子集锦
1， Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2， Evening news is where they begin with „Good evening‟, and then proceed to tell you why it isn‟t.
晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。
3， Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聪明了，你晓得不?只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4， Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5， It‟s not the fall that kills you; it‟s the sudden stop at the end.
跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪!“那才是死了。
6， Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘
7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don‟t know son, I‟m still paying.”
一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价?” 他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
8, If at first you don‟t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.
如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳伞。
9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。
10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do we worry, and what is there to worry about?
据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解决。所以，我们为什么要担心呢?又有什么值得担心的呢?
11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they‟ll forget my number.
我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。每当怀疑、焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码
12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.
如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。
【篇二】简短的搞笑英语句子集锦
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。(老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈)
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " 努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作。
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
When two„s company, three„s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着?
Money is not everything. There„s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don„t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
【篇三】简短的搞笑英语句子集锦
1.Do you have a family? 你有孩子吗?
2.It's a good father that knows his son。就算是的父亲，也未必了解自己的儿子。
3.I have no opinion of that sort of man。我对这类人很反感。
4. He put 5 dollars into my hand," you have been a great man today."他把5美圆塞到我手上说：“你今天表现得很好。”
5.I was the youngest son, and the youngest but two。我是最小的儿子，但我还有两个妹妹。
6.The picture flattered her。她比较上照。
7.The country not agreeing with her, she returned to England。她在那个国家水土不服，所以回到了英国。
8.He is a walking skeleton。他很瘦。
9.The machine is in good repair。机器已经修好了。
10.He allowed the father to be overruled by the judge, and declared his own son guilty。他让法官的职责战胜了父子的亲情，最终宣布儿子有罪。
11.You don't know what you are talking about。你在胡说八道。
12.You don't begin to understand what they mean。你根本不知道他们在干嘛。 (not begin to：毫不)。
13.They didn't praise him slightly。他们大大地表扬了他。
14.That's all I want to hear。我已经听够了。
15.I wish I could bring you to see my point。你要我怎么说你才能明白呢。
16.You really flatter me。你让我受宠若惊。
17.He made a great difference。有他没他结果完全不一样。
18.You cannot give him too much money。你给他再多的钱也不算多。
19.The long exhausting trip proved too much。这次旅行旷日持久，我们都累倒了。
20.You look darker after the holiday。你看上去更健康了。
21.As luck would have it, he was caught by the teacher again。不幸的是，他又一次被老师逮个正着。
22.She held the little boy by the right hand。她抓着小男孩的右手。(这里"by"与"with"动作主语完全相反)
23.Are you there?等于句型：Do you follow me?
