Question

英语!英语作文问题.这是暑假作业,我写了几篇.希望大家能帮我指导与修改一下

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Answer 1

英语!英语作文问题.这是暑假作业,我写了几篇.希望大家能帮我指导与修改一下

回答：
首先应该肯定的是，你的两篇英语作文写得都很好！能够把自己的意思表达得准确而又清楚，用词较准确，标点符号也很规范，打字也很认真。看出来你是一个很认真，具有一丝不苟的学习精神的好学生。现将你信中有点疑问的几处地方列出来，并给出修改意见，谨供你参考，因篇幅关系，未能详细解释。若有疑问，欢迎追问！

另：1）高中英语学习中，注意多用定语从句，可使句子言简意赅；
2）打字时，标点符号应紧跟在该单词之后，而不是在下一个单词之前；
3）平日最好多写此类短文与信件，然后请任课的英语老师给予批改，长此以往，你将大大 提高自己的英语水平！

A.

1）the situation is easy to change if you take my advice

似应改为：which is easy to change if you could take my advice(最好在此处使用非限定性定语从句)；

2）Here are some tips to help you

似应改为：of which here are some for you;

3）to increase opportunities to communicate with others

似应改为：to increase the opportunities to communicate(exchange) with each; others;

4）learn to listen to other people's views

似应改为：learn to listen to the views of the others;

5）take your loneliness far away

似应改为：drive your loneliness away;

6）activities can make your life more interesting and colorful

似应改为：which could bring you more interesting and more colorful life!

7）OK. Don't worry...

似应改为：Ok, don't worry...

B.

1）Dear headteacher---似应改为：Dear Mr./Miss,
说明：
a) headteachers是“中小学的校长，中小学班主任”之意，英美人士写信时一般是称呼其姓氏并在姓氏之前加Mr./Miss/Ms，而不是直接称呼为：headteacher；

b）若用headteacher，首字母须大写！

2）...you aren't allowed us...

似应改为：you don't allow us

you aren't allowed us：此处用被动语态是错误的；

3）We know what concerns you and other teachers is the unhealthy websites.

应改为：We know what you and the other teachers concern is the unhealthy websites.

4）useful study resources

似应改为：useful learning materials, 或 useful resources for study;

5）to watch the news at home and abroad

似应改为：to learn(read) the news...

6）so that we broaden horizon---请参考以下内容：

so that we could expand our horizon;

so that we could have the wide vision;

broaden our view sight;

broaden our vision

widen our sight and richen our knowledge 开阔视野，丰富知识

so that it could help us to get wider perspective of the world;

7）as senior high school students

似应改为：as the senior high school students

8）I hope you can take my advice

似应改为：I sincerely hope that you would consider my suggestion;

It is appreciated greatly if you would be kind to consider my suggestion;
（给校长或老师写信，应特别注意，语气要委婉又有礼貌）