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When the Ambassador or Escalopia returned home for lunch, his wife got a shock.
当艾斯卡罗比亚国的大使回到家吃午饭时，把他的夫人吓了一跳。
He looked pale and his clothes were in a frightful state.
他面色苍白，衣服也搞得不成样子。
'What has happened?' she asked. 'How did your clothes get into such a mess?'
“发生了什么事？”她问，“你的衣服怎么搞得一塌糊涂？”
'A fire extinguisher, my dear,' answered the Ambassador drily.
“灭火器弄的，亲爱的，”大使冷冷地回答，
University students set the Embassy on fire this morning.
“今天上午大学生们放火点着了大使馆。”
'Good heavens!' exclaimed his wife. 'And where were you at the time?'
“天啊！”他的夫人惊叫，“那你当时在什么地方？”
'I was in my office as usual,' answered the Ambassador.
“我和往常一样，在办公室里，”大使回答说。
The fire broke out in the basement. I went down immediately, of course,
“地下室突然着火，我当然马上下去了。
and that fool, Horst, aimed a fire extinguisher at me.
但那个傻瓜霍斯特把灭火器对准了我。
He thought I was on fire.
他认为是我着火了。
I must definitely get that fellow posted.
我一定要把那个家伙打发走。”
The Ambassador's wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed a big hole in her husband's hat.
大使夫人继续提出问题，她突然又发现丈夫的帽子上有个洞。
'And how can you explain that?' she asked.
“那么你对那又作何解释呢？”她问。
'Oh, that,' said the Ambassador.
“那个嘛，”大使说，
Someone fired a shot through my office window.
“有人向我办公室窗户开了一枪。
Accurate, don't you think?
真够准的，是不是？
Fortunately, I wasn't wearing it at the time.
幸亏我当时没戴帽子。
If I had been, I would not have been able to get home for lunch.
如果真戴着它，我现在就不能回家来吃午饭了。”
当艾斯卡罗比亚国的大使回到家吃午饭时，把他的夫人吓了一跳。
He looked pale and his clothes were in a frightful state.
他面色苍白，衣服也搞得不成样子。
'What has happened?' she asked. 'How did your clothes get into such a mess?'
“发生了什么事？”她问，“你的衣服怎么搞得一塌糊涂？”
'A fire extinguisher, my dear,' answered the Ambassador drily.
“灭火器弄的，亲爱的，”大使冷冷地回答，
University students set the Embassy on fire this morning.
“今天上午大学生们放火点着了大使馆。”
'Good heavens!' exclaimed his wife. 'And where were you at the time?'
“天啊！”他的夫人惊叫，“那你当时在什么地方？”
'I was in my office as usual,' answered the Ambassador.
“我和往常一样，在办公室里，”大使回答说。
The fire broke out in the basement. I went down immediately, of course,
“地下室突然着火，我当然马上下去了。
and that fool, Horst, aimed a fire extinguisher at me.
但那个傻瓜霍斯特把灭火器对准了我。
He thought I was on fire.
他认为是我着火了。
I must definitely get that fellow posted.
我一定要把那个家伙打发走。”
The Ambassador's wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed a big hole in her husband's hat.
大使夫人继续提出问题，她突然又发现丈夫的帽子上有个洞。
'And how can you explain that?' she asked.
“那么你对那又作何解释呢？”她问。
'Oh, that,' said the Ambassador.
“那个嘛，”大使说，
Someone fired a shot through my office window.
“有人向我办公室窗户开了一枪。
Accurate, don't you think?
真够准的，是不是？
Fortunately, I wasn't wearing it at the time.
幸亏我当时没戴帽子。
If I had been, I would not have been able to get home for lunch.
如果真戴着它，我现在就不能回家来吃午饭了。”
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Doorbell 小幽默
Housewife:I had thought you would come to repair the doorbell yesterday.
Repairman:I did. I rang the doorbell twice but got no answer,so I went back.
家庭主妇：“我想你昨天已经来我家修好我的门铃了吧！”
维修员：“我确实来过，但是我按了两次门铃没人应我，因此我离开了。”
Housewife:I had thought you would come to repair the doorbell yesterday.
Repairman:I did. I rang the doorbell twice but got no answer,so I went back.
家庭主妇：“我想你昨天已经来我家修好我的门铃了吧！”
维修员：“我确实来过，但是我按了两次门铃没人应我，因此我离开了。”
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The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
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English:
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Merry...
Merry who?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Chinese:
敲,敲.
谁在这是?
梅丽..
梅丽,谁?
圣诞快乐!
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Merry...
Merry who?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Chinese:
敲,敲.
谁在这是?
梅丽..
梅丽,谁?
圣诞快乐!
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