英语小笑话字带翻译

英语小笑话一定要短,因为长只有9厘米,宽只有4.5厘米,只有四行,还要带翻译的,如果实在没这么短的,那么我还有一个格子也可以写,跟那个一样,不过比它小很多。如果可以顺便也... 英语小笑话一定要短,因为长只有9厘米,宽只有4.5厘米,只有四行,还要带翻译的,如果实在没这么短的,那么我还有一个格子也可以写,跟那个一样,不过比它小很多。如果可以顺便也给我带个英语绕口令,也要短的,跟前两个标准一样,要带翻译,不够可以加悬赏,谢谢 展开
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2013-09-07
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TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后,妈妈问他,“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的,妈妈。”汤米回答,“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲:哎呀,我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西:没事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说,“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
更多追问追答
追问
很好,谢谢,能再给个短的绕口令吗?也带翻译的哦~谢谢啊~还有我想问问怎么给你加悬赏= =
追答
1.Can you can a can as a canner can can a can? 
你能够像罐头工人一样装罐头吗?
(这个既绕口了 又告诉你can的丰富含义 )

2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
我希望梦想着你梦想中的梦想,但是如果你梦想着女巫的梦想,我就不想梦想着你梦想中的梦想。

3.I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream!
我叫喊,你叫喊,我们都喊着要冰淇淋!

4.- How many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies?
- A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
如果一个好的厨师能做小甜饼,那么他能做多少小甜饼呢?一个好的厨师能做出和其它好厨师一样多的小甜饼。

5. The driver was drunk and drove the doctor's car directly into the deep ditch.
这个司机喝醉了,他把医生的车开进了一个大深沟里。

6.Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not.
 Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot.
 We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not.
  无论是晴天或是阴天。
  无论是冷或是暖,
  不管喜欢与否,我们都要经受风霜雨露。

7.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
  A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
  If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
  Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
  彼德派柏捏起一撮泡菜。
  彼德派柏捏起的是一撮泡菜。
  那么彼德派捏起的泡菜在哪儿?
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