Question

我是大一新生、英语老师要考我们的口语、我想讲个简单的笑话、帮忙吧

Answer 1

1、英语幽默小笑话带翻译，醉酒的爸爸和儿子的对话，解释什么叫醉酒，不过爸爸好像已经通过行动证明了。
Drunk 醉酒
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
2、英语幽默小笑话带翻译，如果手术后，医生不小心把海绵丢在你的肚子里了，你会有什么感觉？
Always Thirsty 总感到口渴
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
3、How Much Is It?
多少钱？
It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!
严冬来临，荷曼太太想采购一大批东西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候，她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹。他们去了许多商店，荷曼太太买了一大堆东西。她经常停下脚步说道：“看，乔伊!那个多漂亮!”
He then answered, All right, dear, How much is it? and took his money out to pay for it.
他总是回答：“好吧!亲爱的，多少钱？”然后掏钱去付款。
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!
他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临，荷曼先生已精疲力尽了。他心里想着其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，说道：“看那月亮多美，乔伊!”
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, All right, dear, How much is it?
荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧，亲爱的，多少钱？”

Answer 2

The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。