Question

如何写出层次高的英语作文

Answer 1

书面表达（满分25分）。
1．近年来，西风东渐。圣诞节、情人节、母亲节、愚人节等“洋节”纷纷登陆我国，而且越来越受到年轻人的青睐。人们对这种现象的看法不一。请你根据生活实际，用英语简要描述这种现象，并阐述你的个人观点。
分析：
1）[思路点拨]本文是一篇发散性思维的开放性文章，符合现代高考的趋向，思路很好，检测效度高，区分能力强。选材贴近生活和实际，学生有内容可写。考生应该注意审题，写作要全面。最好从两个角度展开叙述，观点不要偏激。
2）要求：文章要有亮点句子。如果在单纯用简单句，势必影响到阅卷的得分。适当注意句式变换；鼓励学生用高级句子或短语，尽管可能有少量错误，只要符合阅卷思想，仍可给高分。
参考答案：
Great changes have taken place in the past few years, including festivals. Some special days such as “Christmas Day”, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Fool’s Day which used to be unfamiliar to us are now becoming better known,attracting a large number of youths.
Having been faced with this fact, I think it’s not completely good to our country. With the coming of foreign culture,chances are that China is in danger of losing its own traditional culture. As is known, the youth is the symbol of a country. Only if every youth loves their own culture better than other’s, our own precious culture can always be alive.
However, every coin has two sides. It also brings some benefits with the entering of western culture. For instance, Mother’s Day can remind us of caring about our dear mothers, and Fool’s Day can provide us with many surprises.
In a nutshell, we should absorb the good things in foreign culture, aiming to make our own culture perfect!
[亮点回放]
1． Great changes have taken place 运用现在完成时态，属于高级句子
2． ，including...是现在分词，是高级词汇/语法。
3． which used to be unfamiliar是限制性定语从句，是高级句子。
4． attracting a large number of是分词短语，是高级用法。
5． Having been faced with是分词以及被动语态的综合运用！
6． With the coming of...是介词with的用法，也可以说独立主格结构在写作中的具体运用。
7． chances are that是新课标新增的短语。
8． in danger of是介词短语在作文的实际运用。
9． As is known...是As引导的非限制性定语从句。
10．Only if every youth loves their own culture better than other’s, our own precious culture can always be alive.本句是倒装结构。
11．However, every coin has two sides.本句是亮点之一：既能承上启下，又能体现档次。
12．with the entering of western culture.是介词的实际运用。
13．remind us of caring about是高级短语的实际运用。
14．In a nutshell是新课标新增短语，是表示总结，是高级短语。
15．aiming to make our own culture perfect!是现在分词的实际运用！
老师点评：本篇文章的参考答案是一篇精品习作，文章内容全面，语言生动，层次性强，亮点很多！书法美妙！过度自然得体！短语、句式、语法三位一体！全篇是上上之作！是很好的参考榜样！正常情况下，应该得到一类的分数！
那么如何写出高层次的句子呢？这是现代高中高考备考的重点；笔者根据自己的教学实践，总结以下思路，希望能抛转引玉，对广大考生有所启迪！
首先：巧背课文，巧析课文，充分利用教材和材料。也就是说，日常学习中，发现不少老师要求学生背课文的篇目不少，但背是为了什么？目的不清。很多人背完了也就完成任务了。我认为，这是浅层次教学，浮在面上，而不能充分利用教材这个财富。我的做法是：在理解、背诵或熟读的环境下，精心分析每一个较为高级的句子或短语，而为己用，并模仿造句，为日后自己作文大好基础。例如：在Module 4 Great Scientist一文有这样一句话：
As a result of Yuan Longping’s discoveries Chinese rice production rose by 47.5 percent.
此处出现了较高级的短语as a result (of)就可以反复训练，直到学生熟练会用。如：
1）由于他的粗心大意，导致考试失败。
（1）As a result of his carelessness, he failed in the examination.
（2）He was very careless, as a result, he failed in the examination.
发散思维：
（3）His carelessness led to his failure in the examination.
(4) His failure in the exam resulted in his carelessness.
(5) His carelessness caused him to fail in the examination.
其次：认真学习，掌握英语基本的造句常识。如：地点状语和时间状语同时出现时，地点状语一般放到前面，地点的顺序是从小到大。如：
Albert Einstein was born in Ulm , Germany in 1879.
It is reported that the Shenzhou V was sent out into the sky in JiuquanGansu, China last year.
第三：巧归词类，巧比较词法，不断丰富自己的造句功能。
如：单词discover ,invent:
When did Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity?
As is known , China was the first country to invent the powder in the world.
又如：单词fortunately的用法：
Fortunately, he wasn’t staying in his motherland when the tsunami happened.
再如介词with.
With the child leading the way, the lady found the way easily.
With so much work to do, he has no time to have a break.
With nothing done, he left angrily.
第四：通过句式变换，丰富自己的造句功能。
昨晚我到你家的时候，你碰巧不在家。
You happened to be out when I called on you last night.
It happened that you were out when I called on you last night.
2)他今天没来的原因是他病了。
He is absent today ,because he is ill.
Because of his illness, he is absent today.
The reason why he is absent today is that he is ill.
3)人们刚才还看见他们在大树下玩耍。（主动、被动的转换）
People saw them playing under the tree just now.
They were seen playing under the tree just now.
第五：通过不同的题材，搜集不同的语句，积累丰富自己的造句功能。如书信的写作，从格式到句子，都应该构成自己的语言小库。如：文章开头：
I’m glad to have heard from you./Glad to hear from. Etc.
结尾可以是：
I’m looking forward to hearing from you./I’m expecting an early reply. Etc.
又如对科学家的描述：
Albert Einstein became famous for his discovery of the theory of relativity .
Albert Einstein was awarded the Nobel Prize for physics in the year 1921.
When Hitler came to power he had to leave Germany and wend to work in the US.
People thought highly of Albert Einstein for his great achievements on science.
第六：仔细研究篇章，注意过度词 的准确使用。这也是对嵌词造句的一种考验。如：besides, in stead(of) ,however, but ,although, now that, since. so, first, second, finally, in the end, as a result etc.准确地利用这些词汇，都是文章的亮点。
Albert Einstein didn’t stay in Germany any more. Instead, he went to America to work on .
Although Albert Einstein became famous , he was still easy to get long with.
第七：正确理解简单句和主从句的内涵，并能得体地运用。从简单句的五种基本用法，到主、从句的各种变化，从省略到让步状语，无处不是提高学生造句能力的机会。如：
1）I want to make it clear that when and where we can solve the problem successfully.
2)This is the first time that I have been to the Great Wall.
3)Now that I have been here , I do want to live here longer.
4)I won’t attend the party unless invited.
5Mary wants to be a soldier when she grows up.
6）Child as he is, he has mastered more than 4,000 English words.
第八：正确运用语法知识造句,把它变为生动的高级句子，丰富学生的英语内涵。
How I wish I had your brains.
The moment I heard the news I couldn’t help laughing.
Hardly had we gone there when it began to rain.
Not knowing what to do , we had to ask for help.
On the top of the building stands a little child.
In order to win the first prize, the students are trying their best to make a good preparation.
Frankly speaking, I don’t think what he said at the meeting is right.
Given the chance, I would do it better.
Not until last year did he realize the mistakes he had made.
I found my book where I put it.
第九：巧用常见英语素材进行积累，也就是说，通过阅读文章，包括报纸，不断搜集，把材料上引起你兴趣的句子变为己用，这样日积月累，就会很高的造句能力；同样，英语文章就会上档次，说、写的交际能力就会发生质的飞跃！
跟踪练习：
请根据下列提示写一篇Albert Einstein的文章。
1．出生在1879年德国的乌尔姆城，直到3岁才会说话。在学校他喜欢数学。在他16岁的时候，就有了相对论的理念。
2．在1905年，他出版了关于相对论理论的特殊见解。1909年，他成了一名大学老师。
3．1915年，他概括、出版了相对论。
4．1921年，由于他的杰出贡献，而获得诺贝尔物理学奖。
5．由于希特了上台，他不得不逃离德国而前往美国，继续工作。
6．1955年逝世。
参考答案：
Albert Einstein, who is thought highly of in the world, is regarded as the greatest physicist of the twentieth century. He was born in Ulm, Germany, in 1879.However, as a child, he didn’t speak until he was three. When he was studying in the school he showed his interest in maths and then became a good student. At the age of 16, he began to have the idea of relativity. Then in 1905, he first published the special theory of relativity, and in 1909, be became a university teacher . Then in the year 1915, he published the great theory of relativity. Six years later he was awarded the Nobel Prize for physics .Although he was world famous then, he had to leave Germany ,for Hitler came into power. In the end he settled in America, where he went on with his research. .In the year 1955,Einstein ,the great man left the world forever.
一篇优秀文章是难得的，但只要每一位考生，经过努力，考前强化训练，搞好模拟，高考中完全可以写出层次高的英语作文的。