Question

跪求高手批改雅思作文~~~最好能给出分数~（4）

题目：有人说学生在上大学前旅游或工作一年对他们有利，其他人反对，讨论双方观点并给出意见

There is growing trend these days for youngsters to find jobs or go for travelling for one year before they go to universities for higher education. Some people claim that this would do good to young people’s development while others disagree. Personally, I believe that the two arguments are reasonable. In this essay, I would discuss the practice from both perspectives.

Undoubtedly, the phenomenon does have some benefits as follows. In the first place, recreation activities like go travelling, camping and climbing surely have a positive effect on the young’s physical and mental health. It is obvious that going for travelling could not only help students to keep relax and reduce studying pressures as they finish heavy courses just now, but also make it possible for them to broaden horizons and have an exciting experience. Secondly, being engage in social activities such as working is beneficial as well. On one hand, the practice could provide young people some important working experience and useful skills they need when studying in universities. On the other hand, finding a job could get money to afford studying expenses, which would relieve the financial burden of their families, particularly in some poor ones. Thus, it is advisable for young people to acquire social experience or get entertainment before the new step of studying.

Despite the advantages, some drawbacks the practice may lead to should not be neglected. As a young person, one could probably be indulge in the enjoyment and entertainment and lose himself during a long-term travelling. Then, his academic performance in university would be badly influenced due to the lack of passion on learning. Similarly cases would happen when one is working at the moment, if one get promoted to a higher position with a suitable salary, he would give up the opportunity to get further education.

In a word, working or travelling before studying in university would not certainly do harm to young people. In my view, a proper period of time for the activities is the key. therefore, to some extent, these practices’ merits outweigh demerits if the time correctly controlled.

Answer 1

利和弊两方面不平均，自己的观点只有一句稍微显得少了点，但是词汇应用不错，此外要再来点从句，综合评价6分起评。
还有你可以把你的文章发到太傻论坛，那里有专区，有很多人会给你意见的。

Answer 2

6.5以上

Answer 3

哇靠，这么长啊！！

Answer 4

6.5-7分

Answer 5

7分