Question

高分悬赏高手帮我改下英语作文*（在线等）急急急~

要求是写一篇搞笑的文章，这样写了可不可以？还有什么搞笑的观点么？再帮忙修改下，谢谢！！
How to propose
If you want to propose to somebody, you must be brave and you must have the consciousness to ruin your latter half of life. Do you accord with those two conditions? If your answer is YES, then I will tell you how to propose to your dream sweetheart. The first step is you can prepare a romantic supper, you should put a 5 carat big diamond ring inside hers ice cream. When she see the diamond ring, than she is your wife. What? You don not have the enough money to buy a ring like that? Oh, do you real love her? Next, if she has rejected you, at this time must think your eloquence. You must be able to make her happy, and you can cause her to fall into your trap. Or you may find a love rival to her, enables her to have the crisis feeling then she will possible to promise you immediately. The third step, you can appear in front of her all day and said to her: “I love you, do you love me? If you don’t love me, I will die.” Bribes all her good friends to help you. Do well the relations with hers family member. Be careful, this is very dangerous. They will let you ask them to eat meal, help them to go shopping, and will carry the package. You will be died of exhaustion by them.. You must strong brave face all the things. Buy the way, you must have the consciousness to ruin your latter half of life. When you married, you are not allowed to go home late, play with your friend, and drinking any more. Now, proposes, I wishes you can succeed.

Answer 1

语法，还有一些用词上改了一下，内容没有改动。

How to propose
If you want to propose to your beloved, you must be brave and you got to know you have started ruining the latter half of your life. If you have no problem with it, here are some tips. First, prepare a romantic dinner, put a 5 carat big diamond ring inside hers ice cream. When she sees the diamond ring, than she will become your wife. What? You don't have enough money to buy a ring like that? Excuse me, but do you really love her? Well, if unfortunately, she rejectes you, take out your notebook and read your eloquence you early prepared. Be sure to make her happy, leading her to fall into your trap. Or if possible, create an affair to make her jealous and propose to her at a right time, you then may get a thousand "yes" from her. Finally, you're there wherever she goes, and tell her“I love you, do you love me? If you don’t love me, I will die.” Bribes all her good friends, keep good relations with her families. Careful, this could be very tricky, because you'll have lots of work to do: you'll treat them dinners and go shopping with them. Hope you won't die in their mountain-sized package one day.Well my friend, be very brave to get married, brave enough to say goodbye to your old friends, your favorite alchole, and your lovely days of chilling out. May you succeed.