Question

雅思作文，麻烦批改评分，谢谢~~

题目：When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

以下作文：

Since the first industrial evolution, our planet witnessed both a fast-pace development in technology and the fact that traditional skills and living styles are on the edge of being forgotten. Unlike many people’s view that it is useless to reserve traditions, I reckon we should respect our traditions in that they provide us inspiration, pleasure and health.

Traditional life style give us inspirations in many fields such as fine arts, designing, and even modern technology. For many famous artists, illustrating their understanding of traditional value and ways of life is an appealing theme. ‘Back to ancient’ designing style will never out of fashion. Ironically, those who look down upon traditional skills may not believe that these skills sometimes can push up the developing pace of technology in that they tell scientists where and how to improve what we have already.

Not only do traditional skills provide us inspirations, they also give common people pleasure. Chocolate of what brand is more delicious that the heart-shaped chocolate made by your girl friend? Will you feel loved by tasting a piece of home baked cookies or a pack of cookies bought in supermarket? Time consuming though they are, DIYs are popular since we add an ingredient called love to the snacks we make for the very person we value. If traditional skills had lost, who would teach us doing all these things?

Inspirations light up our life, pleasure makes our life more colourful, but without a healthy body and mind, all the other things will lose their meanings. It is believed that traditional skills are more environmental friendly and traditional ways of life is more nature. To build up a harmony society, traditional values shouldn’t be ignored.

Modern technologies advanced our living standard, but without the benefits traditions give us, our world would be far less interesting. So it is unreasonable to eliminate our traditional skills and living styles.

320的字数是不是稍微太多了点…只是我已经尽力去缩了……
谢谢马其骐~可以麻烦你再帮我具体指出那些地方有语法错误以及应该是什么吗？会追加悬赏的啦……
"叫我小妖吧"，我刚刚查了字典，牛津高阶英汉双解字典，tradition可数。例句当中第一个就是traditions，第7个是a tradition
....无语了……我会在这里把作文晾出来就是为了尽量考官阅卷之前发现自己的漏洞阿，不是想和你吵架的……可以请你耐心一点么？
你指出的那些句子，可以帮我改改么？

Answer 1

我觉得，好像观点有点牵强，我正在看一本环球雅思的老师写的--《十天突破雅思写作》，我觉得伱可以看看他里面介绍的解题思路。（顺便说，我不是托儿啊！）
楼主的词汇和语法还是蛮不错的！
哈哈...
拙见！！

Answer 2

建议你去环球或新东方写作中心买作文纸 100元大概6张（电子版也可以） 你写好的作文可以直接交给专业的老师修改 并批注打分

Answer 3

有些语法错误。词汇不错。总体还可以吧。6--6、5
个人意见