Question

大家帮我看看这篇作文有什么语法错误,急用！

Growing jobs
What sort of jobs will people be doing ten years from now? With the development of the society, many new jobs have appeared recently and show the trend of risking. There are some new jobs as follow.
Professional bargain’s man(职业砍价人)：save money for you.
Many people are often ripped off by cunning shopkeeper, making consumer’s rights and interests are infringed. Which make people are afriad of shopping,but now you can buy something with bargain’s man to avoid falling in the pitfall that has been fixed up by shopkeeper. Bargain’s man can make people buy something in a low price. If you want to be a professional bargain’s man, you should have good eloquence.
Private tailor（私人裁缝）:dress you different.
There are many clothes shops in the street,but people want to have a private tailor. Because private tailor can design clothes which can show client’s charm for client. Private talior can earn two thousand yuan after finish designing a suit. So if you receive five order forms every month, you will be rich in the future.
Some new jobs seen to be easier, but they are also similar to traditional jobs, making you feel tired. In my opinion, no matter which job you do, physical fitness, outgoing personality and excellent eloquence are more important.

顺便帮我看看哪里可以换更好的句型，只要意思不变就可以，做得好的有加分，急用啊！！！

Answer 1

What sort of jobs will people do in the coming ten years ? With the development of the society, many new jobs have appeared recently and show the trend of risking. There are some new jobs as follow.
Professional bargain man(职业砍价人)：save money for you.
Many people are often ripped off by cunning shopkeeper who make consumers' rights and interests infringed.they make people afriad of shopping.but now you can buy anything with a bargain man and avoid falling in the pitfall that has been fixed up by shopkeepers.a Bargain man can make it possible for people to buy things at low prices. If you want to be a professional bargain man, you should have good eloquence.
Private tailor（私人裁缝）:dress you different.
There are many clothes shops in the street,but everybody wants to have a private tailor. Because private tailor can design clothes which can show a client’s charm for him. a Private talior can earn two thousand yuan after finishing designing a suit. So if you receive five order forms every month, you will be rich in the future.
Some new jobs seem to be easier, but they are also similar to traditional jobs, which will make you feel tired. In my opinion, no matter what job you do, physical fitness, outgoing personality and excellent eloquence are the most important.

Answer 2

日益增长的就业机会
什么样的就业机会将人民做十几年呢？随着社会的发展，许多新的就业机会已经出现，并显示最近的趋势危险。也有一些新的就业机会作为后续。
专业讨价还价的人（职业砍价人） ：省钱你。
许多人往往是扯下了狡猾的店主，使消费者的权利和利益受到侵犯。这使人们afriad购物，但现在你可以买到便宜东西的人避免落入陷阱中已被固定了店主。讨价还价的人可以买东西的人在一个较低的价格。如果你想成为一个专业讨价还价的男人，你应该有很好的口才。
私人裁缝（私人裁缝） ：你不同的礼服。
有许多服装商店在街头，但人们希望有一个私人裁缝。由于私人裁缝可以设计衣服可以显示客户端的魅力客户。私人talior能够获得二零零零元完成后，设计了诉讼。所以，如果你收到以各种形式五个每个月，你将丰富的未来。
一些新的就业机会被视为容易，但他们也类似传统的就业机会，使你觉得累了。在我看来，不管你做的工作，体能，即将离任的性格和出色的口才更重要。