Question

求一篇简单初一英语幽默小短文，越短越好

简单的，初一学生能听懂的

Answer 1

1.Tom was an eight-year-old boy.He come to a new town with his parents.His family was very rich(富有的).They lived in a big,beautiful house with a big garden.They had a driver,a cook,a gardener(园丁) anda lot of servants(佣人).
Tom was going to a new school.On the first day his mother said to him,“Tom,be modest(谦虚) at school.Don't say we are rich.”
Tom said,“All right,Mom.”
Then Tom went to his new school and met his new teacher and new classmates.And he sat down with the other children in his class.The teacher said,“Good morning,boys and girls.This is Tom,your new classmate.Now let him introduce himself to you.”
Tom stood up and said,“My name is Tom.My family is poor(穷).My father is very poor.The gardener is very poor.The cook is very poor.And all the other servants are very poor.So I am very poor,too``` ”

2.Tom was an eight-year-old boy.He come to a new town with his parents.His family was very rich(富有的).They lived in a big,beautiful house with a big garden.They had a driver,a cook,a gardener(园丁) anda lot of servants(佣人).
Tom was going to a new school.On the first day his mother said to him,“Tom,be modest(谦虚) at school.Don't say we are rich.”
Tom said,“All right,Mom.”
Then Tom went to his new school and met his new teacher and new classmates.And he sat down with the other children in his class.The teacher said,“Good morning,boys and girls.This is Tom,your new classmate.Now let him introduce himself to you.”
Tom stood up and said,“My name is Tom.My family is poor(穷).My father is very poor.The gardener is very poor.The cook is very poor.And all the other servants are very poor.So I am very poor,too``` ”
3.A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobil phone but discovered that she was out of credit ;she instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at the construction site.
After her son had called ,he got back to mummy to infrom her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile . Women! She watied impatiently for her husband to return from the construction site .The moment she sighted him,she gave him a very hot slap.While the man was trying to ask why ,she repeated the slap.People from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of his .
The man asked his son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,he said,"The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment.Please try again later".
一个妇女想打丈夫的手机找他，但是发现她的手机余额不足，于是她吩咐儿子用他自己的手机给正在建筑工地上的爸爸打电话传递紧急信息。
儿子打完后，回到妈妈的身边说，他打了爸爸的手机三次，一位女士接了三次。女人！她心急火燎地等丈夫从建筑工地回来。她一看见丈夫就给了他热辣辣的一巴掌。男人正要问个究竟，她又扇了他一巴掌。街坊邻居都跑过来想弄清楚事情的原因。
男人让儿子告诉大家，他打电话时那个女人说了什么。他回答说；“你所拨打的电话暂时无法接通。请稍后再拨。”

Answer 2

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

三个，选一个！