Question

求大神帮我完善这篇英语作文

Finding my self-ego on the top of the teaching building

On the first day of English class, our teacher assigned
special homework. The top of homework is climbing the top of
the teaching building to find my self-ego. To be honest, I
was surprised that our teacher wanted us to do this. But I
decided to try my best to finish the assignment.
In order to do this homework, I picked a nice day to
visit our school. I walked along school road, feeling
comfortable. It was the first time that I saw the scenery of
campus carefully. The campus is bigger than I
imagined. And I love the lawn in front of the teaching
building. I hadn't ever saw so big lawn in school. We can enjoy ourselves in lawn. The sun is
going down. I walked to the teaching building
quickly. I took to the stage step by step. When I stood on the top of the teaching building, I have a sense of
pride, as if I had finished a great thing. The beauty of
the campus became small in my eyes. And at that moment, I
realized that I entered the university and became a college student. Blowing breeze, I felt full of power. It was
a meaningful thing!
After climbing the top of the teaching building, not
only can I saw the scenery of the campus, but also I find my self-ego. I am not afraid of the future. I think I will
spend a happy time in school. 原作文是这样，评语是作者词汇表达较为熟练，学术词汇使用不是很多；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳 ，求大神帮改改QAQ

Answer 1

On the first day of my English class, our teacher gave us a very strange class assignment - climb to the top of the teaching building to find my ego. To be quite honest, I really don't see the purpose of this assignment, but I decided to try my best to finish it anyway. I have picked a nice day to visit the school campus. Walking along the campus walkways, I was in a delightful mood. It's the first time I paid attention to the scenic college campus. The campus is bigger than what I have in mind. The lawn in front of the teaching building is lovely and huge. I sat there comfortably and relaxed myself on the lawn for a little while. It's getting late in the afternoon, so I'd better get to the teaching building soon. I climbed up the stairs step by step, and finally I was on the top of the teaching building. I felt as proud as if I had completed a major task. Overlooking the campus from the top of the building was amazing. All at a sudden, I felt connected with the school. The gentle breeze blew across my face, I felt empowered. It's a meaningful task after all.
Being on the top of the teaching building, not only that gives me the first bird eye view of the campus, I have found my sense of self - my ego. I feel positive and excited about my future. I am confident that I will have a great time here.

ego 的意思就是sense of self，已包含self的意思，故self-ego 这词不对。