Question

高三党，写了英语作文，高分求改！

我是广东考生，作文要求五句完成，并涵盖所有信息，语句连接通顺。希望有高中老师或高三同学可以为我指出我的语法错误和语句间连接问题。给我一些修改建议和要点，指出我的优点与不足。（PS：最好不要用太多超纲词汇和语法）

$*作文要求用五个句子完成*$





Answer 1

下面是我对你的作文所作的修改，供参考：

The Smog

In 2013, heavy smog appeared in many cities of China, which had brought
bad impact on our daily life. Since the value of PM2.5 in the air was in the
high level, many people wore masks to protect themselves when going out.
In some places, due to the emissions of smoke from coal burning and car
exhaust, the atmosphere was so heavily polluted that people couldn’t see
their own fingers in front of them and some schools and airports had to
close down. Premier Li Qiang had called on us to tackle with the
pollution problems. Following the Premier’s call, the governments had
taken some measures, such as reducing the use of coal and putting
restrictions on the use of private cars to fight against the pollution and
protect the environment.
.

追问

超厉害！你写的这篇，无论是从流畅度和信息的准确度来说都非常好啊。感觉我写的根本没法看……请问在写作的时候，应该如何分配信息，写成五个句子呢？有什么技巧吗？

追答

我本是原联合国日内瓦总部的同声翻译，现在退休了，帮助英语提问者，回答一下问题而已。本无什么技巧。全在于自己对英语的灵活运用而已。

追问

怪不得那么厉害……总之谢谢了~

追答

You are welcome.