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人际交往中的心理障碍
人际交往是人们社会生活的重要内容之一，自我的发展、心理的调适、信息的沟通、各种不同层次需求的满足、人际关系的协调，都离不开入际交往。每一个人，都希望善于交往、都，希望通过交往建立起和睦的家庭关系、亲属关系、邻里关系、朋友关系、同学、同事关系……而这些良好的社会关系可以使个人在温馨怡人的环境中愉快地学习、生活和工作。但在实际的交往过程中，总是或多或少地存在着一些不尽如人意之处，影响了人际交往的正常进行。

在来访者当中，最常提到的问题如：“我怎样才能使别人喜欢我？”，或者“怎样才能消除自卑感？”，还有“怎样才能正确认识自己和他人”等等。还有人会问：“我为什么体会不到人际交往的快乐？”
社会心理学的研究表明，那些在人际交往中颇受好评，很得“人缘”的人一般具以下特点：乐观、聪明、有个性、独立性强坦诚、有幽默感、能为他人着想、充满活力等等，当然，不是说这些特点都具备才能有好的人际交往。而那些在人际交往中不太受人欢迎的人也具有以下几个特点：自私、心眼小、斤斤计较、孤傲、依赖性、自我中心、虚伪自卑、没有个性等等。有了以上的参照标准，大家就可以对照自己，扬长避短。当然，在人际交往中，最主要的是坦诚，每个人都是独立的个人，不能丧失掉自我。阿谀奉承，随声附和并不能换来良好的人际交往。

如何在人际交往中正确地估价自己和别人。古语说得好： “人贵有自知之明”，何为“贵”，为何“贵”，贵，说明其难。正确地认识自己的的确确不是一件容易的事。在错误的自我估价中，对交往妨碍最大的，莫过于自卑和自傲。

自卑，即对自己的知识、能力、才华等作出过低的估价，进而否定自我。自卑的人在交往中，虽有良好的愿望，但是总是怕别人的轻视和拒绝，因而对自己没有信心，很想得到别人的肯定，又常常很敏感地把别人的不快归为自己的不当。有自卑感的人往往过分地自尊，为了保护自己，常表现得非常强硬，难以让人接近，在人际交往中变得格格不入。
自卑心理源于心理上的一种消极的自我暗示，很多心理学家指出，自卑感和本人的智力、受教育程度、所处的社会地位等因素无关，而仅仅是对“自己不如他人”的确信。所以，要克服和预防自卑心理，首先要敢于正视自己的不足。人无完人每个人都有自己的优缺点。对于一些不可改变的事实，如相貌、身高等等，完全可以用别处的辉煌来弥补，大可不必自渐形秽。 其次，要正确地与人相比，自卑心重的人往往很善于发现他人的长处，这本身不是坏事，可是他老是用别人的长处和自己的短处比，不是激发起奋起直迫的勇气，而是越比越泄气，从而贬低、否定自己，以偏盖全。其实，人各有所长，自己不可能事事都强过别人，反过来也一样。见贤思齐应当鼓励，这其中还有一个量力而行的问题，所以，要防止和克服自卑感，还要注意不可对自己提出过高的要求，在选择目标时除考虑其价值和自身的愿望外，还要考虑其实现的可能性。与其追求那些不切实际的东西，还不如设立一些较为现实的目标，采用“小步子”原则，不断地使自己得到鼓励。最后一点，要锻炼自己的心理承受能力，不要因为一次失败而一蹶不振，或因自己某一方面的过失而全盘否定自己。

自傲与自卑相比，也源于错误的自我估价，自傲者喜欢过高地估计自己，在交往中表现为妄自尊大、自吹自擂、盛气凌人，而且不愿和自认为不如自己的人交往。这样的人当然不会受到别人的欢迎。自傲者一旦受挫，往往会较为自卑。自傲者要学会尊重别人，善于发现别人的优点，这样才有利于客观评价自己，还要学会严于律己、宽以待人。

Answer 1

Interpersonal relationships in the psychological barrier
Interpersonal communication is an important aspect of social life, self-development, psychological adjustment, information communication, a variety of different levels to meet demand, the coordination of human relations can not be separated into the interpersonal relationships. Everyone who has good hope that the contacts are hoped to establish harmony between family relationships, family ties and relationships with their neighbors, friends, classmates, colleagues and relations ... and ... a good social relations of these individuals in the human Wen Xinyi A pleasant environment to study, live and work. However, in actual exchanges, there is always more or less some of the less than satisfactory, the impact of interpersonal normally.

In the visitors, the most frequently mentioned issues such as: "How can I make other people like me?" Or "How can we eliminate the sense of inferiority?", And "How can we correctly understand themselves and others." It was also to ask: "Why do I not see experiences of interpersonal happiness?"
Social psychology studies have shown that those in the interpersonal relationships of popular acclaim, it is a "popularity" of the people in general have the following characteristics: optimistic, smart, personality, a frank strong independence, there is a sense of humor, for the sake of others, full of Vitality, and so on, of course, does not mean that these characteristics in order to have good interpersonal relationships. And those in interpersonal relations is not welcome people who have the following characteristics: selfishness, small mind, so mean, Guao, dependent, self-centered, hypocritical self-abased, not personality, and so on. With reference to the above criteria, we will be able to control themselves and avoid. Of course, interpersonal relationships, the most important one is honest, everyone is an independent individual, not lost self. Adulation, and was echoed later by other does not get good interpersonal relationships.

How to interpersonal relationships in the correct assessment of their own and other people. Said the old saying goes: "your people have known it himself," What is "your" why "your" and expensive, its difficult. A correct understanding of their really is no easy task. In the wrong self-assessment, to the prejudice of the largest exchanges, is the low self-esteem and pride.

Low self-esteem, that is their own knowledge, abilities, talents, such as the valuation is too low to make, and self-negation. Inferiority in the exchanges, despite good intentions, but always afraid of other people's neglect and refusal, which has lost confidence in itself, others want to be sure, and often very sensitive to other people's unhappy return for their own misconduct. There are often too self-esteem and self-esteem, in order to protect themselves often were very tough, difficult to be close to that in interpersonal relationships become out of tune.
Inferiority complex stems from a psychological negative-suggestion, many psychologists point out that my self-esteem and intellectual, educational level, where social status and other factors not related to, but merely the "other than their own" Sure. Therefore, it is necessary to prevent and overcome the inferiority complex, first of all should have the courage to face up to their own deficiencies. No man is perfect everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. For some immutable facts, such as appearance, height, etc., can be used elsewhere to make up for the brilliant and totally unnecessary increasingly self-abusive. Secondly, it is necessary to correctly with the people than the heavy heart of inferiority often very good at discovering the strengths of others, this is not a bad thing, but he always used other people's strengths and weaknesses than their own, rather than rise to arouse the courage to come close, But the more frustrating than the more so as to belittle and deny its own, however. In fact, people have their own advantages, can not own everything stronger than the others, and vice versa. Should be encouraged to emulate, which has a capability, so, it is necessary to prevent and overcome the sense of inferiority, but also careful not to put too much on his own request, in the choice of targets in addition to its own values and The desire, we must also consider the possibility of its realization. Its pursuit of those unrealistic things, might as well set up some of the more realistic goal of a "small step" principle, continue to be encouraged to make their own. Finally, it is necessary to exercise their mental capacity to bear, not a failure devastated, or as a result of their own errors and a total negation of their own.

Low self-esteem and pride, also from the mistakes of self-evaluation, those who prefer to overestimate their own pride, in exchange for self-expression, blowing its own trumpet, overbearing, and unwilling to believe and not their own tradition. Of course, such a person will not be welcomed by others. Once the pride were frustrated, tends to be relatively low self-esteem. Were proud to learn how to respect other people, other people found at the merits of such an objective evaluation is needed to benefit themselves, but also learn to discipline, in order to treat a wide.

Answer 2

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