Question

白雪公主搞笑英语话剧剧本

谁有啊 拜托 迅速

Answer 1

白雪公主》英语话剧剧本

SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔镜 H-猎人P-白马王子 D-小矮人 音乐起，旁白

A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king’s palace: ----白雪出场

S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ?

音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场

Q: I am a queen , I’m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful ?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you !

Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white .

猎 人 出 场

H: Yes, my queen

音乐起，猎人追赶白雪，公主惊慌出逃

S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please !

白雪顺利脱逃后

S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down.

音乐起，7个小矮人出场，

D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food----

2\Somebody drank my water----

3\Someone is sleeping now----

4\What a beautiful girl!----

小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话

5\How do you do?

S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you!

D:（齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----

6\ welcome to our house!----

7\Would you like to live here?

S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much!

D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white.

皇后、魔镜出场

Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!

Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea!

音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话

Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,

S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!

Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?

S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!

白雪公主咬一口后倒地

Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…

小矮人出场、围着公主哭

Snow white wake up, wake up…

音乐起，小矮人引着王子出场

P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!

王子唤醒公主，公主醒了

P：Wake up ! Wake up , my queen !

S.w: Thank you for your help !

P: My pleasure !

音乐起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞

Answer 2

穷开心：别人开心是真开心，我开心真是穷开心，不管三七二十一，开心茶馆寻开心，准开心，你说是不是！。
观众：是。

二、情景表演部份
穷开心手拿一张假百元钞票独白：你说人倒霉来，盐罐生咀，喝水塞牙，放屁伤人，走路扭脚，什么时候混进了一张假币幺冻冻（100）。
穷开心用手掌打了一下自己的脸骂：白睁着一双金鱼豹眼。
穷开心露出狡诈的笑容：道高一尺，魔高一丈，有法子了。
老开心上，老开心站在服务台上笑脸迎接穷开心，穷开心坐在茶桌上，跷起二郎腿。
老开心：小妹上茶。
穷开心：上最好的碧螺春，外加一盘开心果。
小开心端着茶水上：老板，开心茶馆，喝碧螺春，嚼开心果，开开心心，今天开心明天开心天天开心月月开心年年开心吃得开心喝得开心睡得开心玩得开心事事开心永远开心。
穷开心手摸着小开心的手：开心！开心！有小妹（密）陪喝更是开心加开心。
小开心发怒离开：非礼姑奶，开你的头。
穷开心上前为穷开心倒茶：老板我陪你。
穷开心：你陪，树皮脸，枯草头，蚱子腰，提琴肚，铁扒手，还开心茶馆，恶心。
老开心无地自容摸摸自已的脸，看看自己的手，拍拍自己的肚：不恶习心你，那你慢用吧。
穷开心：结帐。（拿出那张假100），找我八十元。
老开心点头哈腰接过去100元转身准备找钱，穷开心很得意的脸。
老开心：对不起，这钱是假的。
穷开心：我说你是睁眼说瞎话，大白天说梦话，没牙齿说戏话，明明给一张真幺冻冻（100），是你调包、裁赃、嫁祸。
老开心：我拿钱没动脚没转身没进屉子，我不是摩术师变戏法，更不是孙悟空能七十二变。
穷开心：我不管，我给你的是真币，得找八十元。（穷开心抓着老开心）找不找，找不找。
老开心：不找不找。
小开心上：什么这么吵。
老开心：你别想我找你八十，我不收钱，算你白喝白吃。
穷开心：嘿！你小看我，你鄙视我，我是大老板，有头有脸有身份的人，怎么说白喝白吃，找不找八十元。
小开心：你是吃了熊心豹子胆，敢在这里混假币。再发横我报警。
穷开心：报警好，报警好，报警好，我说你开心茶楼什么开心，是有卖淫嫖娼开心，营销假币赚钱开心。
老开心：算了小妹，为了一张幺冻冻（100），召来警察多麻烦，起码得陪客上烟上茶请坐请吃，算了，退财免灾找他八十元，免得耽误生意。
穷开心：这才是上策。（拿着八十元得意离开。）
小开心：我们不能白白上当。（小开心装着假100。背上跨包，打扮成上街搭“的士”。）
穷开心开着一辆的士过来，小开心招呼并上“的士。”
穷开心：小妹去那里。
小开心：向前开，去我要去的地方。
穷开心：小妹（密）真逗，你要去的地方，我怎么知道呀。嘿，是不是那样地方呀！
小开心拿着口红对着镜子化起装来，穷开心不时对着反光镜向后看着小开心：小妹真靓，闭月羞花，沉鱼落雁，是不是到茶楼吧厅按摩房那个。
小开心：狗嘴掀门帘，公鸡啄耗子，开你的车，赚你的钱。、、、咳！前面停车。（小开心双手插在两个荷包，犹豫不决是取出真币还是取出假币。小开心脸红心跳好紧张，最后拿出了一张真币。穷开心什么也不看的找了钱。小开心做贼心虚的转身离开，等车子开远，拿出那张假幺冻冻（100）看了看。
小开心：真没用，刚才要是拿出那张假币来付费，其实司机看都没有看收了。
小开心整理司机找零，惊异发现司机找了一张假五零，气得咬牙切齿。
小开心回到茶楼。
老开心：生意不做到那里去。
小开心：别提，一张假的没混出，又混进一张假的进来。
老开心：我说你吃饱了撑不过，不就是100元，自认倒霉吧。
小开心：这个霉干吗我们倒，人不错我，我不错人，人若错我，我必错人。
小开心离开：对！我有了办法。
老开心摇头：唉！假币害人呀。
（台上摆起麻将桌，二男二女正在搓麻将。一阵“胡”了的声音，小开心摇头，大妈崔着出钱）小开心输了钱拿出假100给对面的大妈，大妈边洗牌别找零，小开心得意的笑了。
这时有动静，门快开了，所有的人收起了桌上的钱，大妈迫不及待的把钱向裤腰下一塞，腹前隆起一小疙瘩。
两警察上前：别动！集众赌搏。
小开心：警察叔叔，我们没来钱，一起穷开心。
警察指着大妈：把钱拿出来，快点。
另一警察拿出罚款收据。小开心眼光不时看着大妈的腹部，大妈尴尬红着脸。
警察：每人罚款五百。
大妈：我没有钱，真的。
警察：没有钱，真的。（警察指着女友的肚子）那是什么。
大妈：那是肚子。
警察：我知道是肚子，肚子外塞着什么。
大妈：没有塞呀，我怀孕了。
小开心：警察叔叔，她怀孕了，下午我还陪她到医院做B 超。
警察：她怀孕了，公鸡能下蛋，做B 超，男孩女孩。
大妈：我没有到更年期，你！你。
小开心：做性别鉴定犯法，你诱导我们犯法呀。
警察大吼：我看到把钱塞进肚子，还不老实。
女友慢慢从下身腹部搜出钱。
警察手指舔着唾液数着钱。
小开心急中生智扮鬼脸：女人下身搜出的钱，舔在嘴里是什么味，酸味、甜味、香味、还是馊味。
警察收起钱，对着地上啪啪吐着唾液。警察走了。
大妈很灰心：倒霉，今天刚赢点钱，又成了杨白劳。
小开心：警察今天还不气昏，我给你的是假币。
大妈：什么，你真坏，那来的。
小开心：晓得是那个喝水噎着，吃饭穿胃，走路翻跟斗，坐车翻车，坐船沉水，坐飞机坠毁的混进我的。
大妈：你在骂自己，你不也混给我了。
小开心：那你也挨了骂，你不是混给了警察。
小开心、大妈大笑：哈！哈！哈！假币害人，应该发现一张作废一张。
老开心上来：你们说得对，这个任务就交给警察吧。
小开心：那我们今天不是给警察通风报信了。
老开心：你们应该开心，因祸得福，做了一件好事。
警察上：你们在正好，在你们的罚款中发现两张假币，最近假币在我市流通猖厥，请回派出所协助调查。
所有的人看着小开心、大妈。
小开心、大妈对老开心说：我们是无辜受害者。
老开心：嗨！假币害死人。
老开心面对所有观众：在坐的老板、师傅、大哥、大姐、小妹、小弟晚上好。
观众齐鼓掌：好！
老开心今天在这里要举行一次义务辨别真假币的宣传活动，活动的有奖，欢迎大家参与。
小开心上。
老开心目瞪口呆：你怎么回了。
小开心：我怎么啦，我是受害者，受害者要受到人民警察的保护。
老开心：你的良心就没有一点遣责。
小开心：我不是在将功补过一起宣传反假、打假活动吗。
小开心：在坐的爷爷奶奶、大叔大婶、大哥大姐、小弟小妹，你们是否受过假币的坑害，请和一起参与打假反假活动吧，下面进行识别真假币有奖问答。100票面辨别真假标志，答对一条奖十元，答对两条奖二十元，全对奖100一张，愿我们这次活动，提高鉴别真假币的能力，让假币象过街老鼠人人喊打，让真币更多的赚进我们的腰包。
小开心就现场提问几个不同层次的男女嘉宾：幺冻冻从那几个部位辨别真假。
观众举手答题：
老开心现场颁奖。
最后小开心：今天拿奖的观众赚到钱，没有拿奖的观众学到知识，开心不开心。
观众：开心。
小开心：开心茶馆，开心笑迎天下开心客。
穷开心上场，观众齐喊抓住他，抓住他。小开心老开心扭住穷开心。

Answer 3

Aside: You can't see your hand in front of you in one at night, pitch-dark forest have one one black little girl running alarmed of clothing. (princess appears on the stage , the black clothing runs and encloses ) she is in rags, the complexion is wan and sallow , turn one's head and look around frequently, but not dare to stay under the foot. All of a sudden, she finds there is a small house in the front, she who is drained can not support again, have fallen to quickly. (The princess falls down, stick up the buttocks and get up. Push away on the door and has not opened for a long time; Pull, open. )
Princess: Food! The bread wants too! The apple wants too! My kao, the dish leaf is not missed either! ! (princess sits on the chair taking, type the belch) aside: After eating and drink, she has felt very tired, wants to have a rest, fall asleep soon …… Aside: ……Whether soon, owner of house come back, they whether seven is it quarry little short people of gold to open a mine in mountain. (Little short people are the basketball team team clothes, have, newspaper fruit name, is it sing (fruit fruit to dance ~~))

Snow: Turn towards and rotate left! (everybody transfers to at will) count off! (everybody's moustache newspaper) really can do nothing about you ……Turn right. Snow: (kick the door, see the princess calls) dragen! (shake hands, rub into) snow: dragen! Hit ! (play everybody,snow in before make not pushing away by the movements and callisthenics movement hand,at the same time last " Chinese Gonfu " aside) princess: Don't hit my face , don't hit my face ~~Peng Peng: Oh, the beauty ~~Snow: Stop! (jump one step after everybody, the princess gets up, look at everybody) insult: (whether gather up light rain, big Historical Records profit Gong dub), this can be regarded as the beauty too ……BEACH: WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Princess: Everybody is good, my name is the snow white, 5 years old this year, go to the kindergarten , has not got married yet. The thing is actually like this ……

(On the mirror , bow, draw the things, draw for quite a while , draw out the newspaper, launch, write " the evil spirit mirror " on the newspaper, shut the newspaper, regain ) (the imperial mother goes to, beautiful kitchen apron, rub the mirror) the imperial mother: Mirror! Mirror! Tell me truth, who is the most beautiful woman here? Mirror: (Sing: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ~~YOU ARE SO HANDSOME ~~)Imperial mother, you are really a very beautiful woman . Imperial mother: Generally generally (put up both hands) Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! I am the most beautiful woman in the world! ! ! Mirror : But, (say retreat), even beautiful than you snow white. Imperial mother: (go frantic kind) ……(ponder) (point loudly) waiter! Brick: (Sunglasses, hold the toothpick in the mouth, getting vacillating and staggering, rub imperial mother) rub not rubing by imperial mother: (push away) ……Has not your girl brushed teeth ? Brick: I KAO, these you can see even? ? Imperial mother: Tell you pieces of decent thing , have piece what snow white does it call , you help me to become him!

Brick: Please say, how much is it? Imperial mother: 2 million, how about it? Brick: (spit toothpicks) 2 million? Must do, brothers, I carry a usual mind, don't root signature pen,go over great river of I north and south, it drink not hot very popular one all the same. 2 million is not all right. Imperial mother: Do you have small honey? Do you have little and honeyed? (say edge step), find you such as the pieces of Zhao Benshan, how about it? Brick: (think a little) make a deal! Imperial mother: (embrace in a low voice) but must click agilely clean under you! Brick: Receive! No pa! Imperial mother: Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (end) (whether brick is it is it is it put the things of garment to down to squat to turn round)

Princess: Now, we please produce the specially invited guest of today - -Handsome and graceful, cajaput face wind, it is called little killer adobe of flying dragon the jade, the bracket, board brick, the bracket finishes, comrade. Brick: Whether (whether is it turn round to jump, cook salted duck egg superman must abate form, laugh foolishly), princess. Is it see night in toe to stretch out one's hand in one, (whether sound mention), he , he , he of he , ……he catch left hand of me, (whether brick pay special attention to princess' left hand), then, he, he he ……He catch right hand of me, (whether 180 of song-and-dance duet, brick pay special attention to princess' right hand), then, he, ……(whether tone calm), he and I dance a dance. From then on, in the American man who I fell into him counted . One day, he said he wanted to take me to Yuyuan Pond to watch the oriental cherry, (two people wave the revolutionary posture ) unexpected, his face changes , from drawing in one's arms, (the brick draws out the small thing), draw, (the brick draws out the small thing again), draw out a knife! (whether brick draw out one hundred sheets (comb ), comb one's hair), (whether brick take knife live in princess definitely , the princess makes girl student's form while retreating )

Princess: Others are girl students that should not need ~~Brick: (Bow, sigh, suddenly came out boldly, hand wisps of hair, POSE ) fault , fault, the fault, as before, people are empty and thin in spring, the tear stains moves Jiao Shao completely red; (Sing: I always have too soft heart, (everybody: The heart is too soft) (change into Beijing opera and adjust): Take on all questions! )(dialogue snow princess say:) Please walk, I do not kill you ! Whether (whether two people countenance suddenly, face the audience side by side), princess. Whether express gratitude to water yuans of brick forever , reporter of the front ,. Cui JunYi two people: Report sent back from Baghdad. Brick: Right to rotate, in step to move! (two people are abducted down suitably )

Aside: This that the snow white's remembrance has got, the story has got back to the scene begun again. At this moment, seven little short persons discuss whether to leave the snow white or not. (little short people enclose one circle , read the tongue twister (grape ……),Want not listening to snow white everybody it determine what everybody push away) (stand up everybody. Whether snow clap hands, go back body wash the audience), snow. Do so! There is difficulty to be helped, have no problem, it is difficult to make but helped too ~~~~Aside: In this way, seven little short persons go to the mountain to look for the gold and silver every day, the snow white stays and does some housework at home. (Little short people steal the form of the things , withdraw from the arena ; The snow withdraws from the arena from another side)

Aside: After the servant goes back to report on completion of a task, the queen thought the snow white had already died. By now, she will certainly whole world most beautiful woman(imperial mother draw mirror, the white cross by the mirror glasses) imperial mother: (rub the mirror) the mirror! Mirror! Tell me truth, who is the most beautiful of all women here. Mirror : You are still very beautiful, however, but (wave, retreat , escape ) more beautiful even than you snow white. Imperial mother: This servant is very of no use, return so that I touch it in person. (whether imperial mother lay, at the princess, eat), (pay by imperial mother, whether bring umbrella, walnut load pocket in front of apron with) princess. Have taken the small umbrella? Imperial mother: Take, give. (pass the umbrella) the princess: Really bring, (see the umbrella) good, kindness , right, give (return ) to the imperial mother: Why not take . Princess: (whether shrug, owe), rain ~~~Imperial mother: Then, do you want the walnut? Princess: Do you have carrot? Imperial mother: Do you want the walnut?
Princess: Do you have carrot? Imperial mother: (loudly) what I asked is: You want the walnut! ! Princess: Oh, the walnut ……Do you have carrot? (The imperial mother shouts, knock down the princess on the chair with the umbrella, draw out walnuts, want to feed) the princess: (open eyes, decent form ) this walnut is poisonous (close one's eyes , fall , the walnut that the imperial mother fed) (imperial mother laughs) Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (Hold up an umbrella, sing: You are happy ~~Oh, I am happy ~~,Make ) aside: Just as the meteor has rowed at midnight in the death of the snow white, whenever I look up at the lonely starry sky many years later, always remember a word like this: "Somebody's death is weightier than Mount Tai, but the death of person having it is entirely of no significance , entirely of no significance ……"

(The little short person has, line up, unless it enter door, it see princess form of,enclose semicircle of) man: (carry the princess) hey, the pig, don't sleep , work quickly ! Whether (whether see its reactionless , good to try on breath its, make idiot form), good. She has died ……Study: (whether feel their, do terrified form, think Peng Peng), she die! (Everybody repeats sequentially: "She has died! "Having insulted and finished saying, everybody covers one's face and weep, draw and sell the paper from the pocket at the same time , throw away while tearing) aside: At this moment, the prince of the neighbouring country just comes here to go hunting. (At the prince, sheet act as cape, make little plane form, unless two circle been run, it go to by it insult,ask) prince: Who is this ~~Good: We and she do not imprison ……BEACH: (cover the good mouth, receive) we and he do not matter! Everybody: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Peng Peng: In fact, she is a beauty! (everybody flashes, the prince winds princesses to watch, suspend) the prince: My KAO, this beauty too! (flat princess, the princess spits walnuts, wake up) the princess: (shout), you who he mother fight me, who! Someone! (whether see prince, prince later , flash), you! (Dash to the prince, everybody draws, the princess gets rid of everybody, throw away, go out, stop, turn round ) KAO, how draw I you! (turn round and see princes, the prince turns round) the princess: (girl student's form ) handsome boy ~~Whether (whether prince change), princess. (to the audience, ripe man's sound) beautiful! Very beautiful!

Aside: The snow white has fallen in love with the prince. (whether princess gather up prince, take platform to it, little short people stand first row behind them), they are going to marry, but at wedding, later on king. (imperial mother has, spirit's haunt and plague form ) the prince: Especially dress up? Princess: Do not have! (little short people overstate the form ) (BEACH sees imperial mother) BEACH: (refer to the imperial mother) look, is not that a big aunt who sells the walnut! (little short people move the imperial mother to the chair, enclose the semicircle) imperial mother: Do! Do! Snow: (bend over to the imperial mother) tell you that sees the thing! Imperial mother (? )Little short people (one for each person, say one and a half): Zhang Guorong has died, the peak has died too, how did Zhang Guorong die? The one that get the SARS and die. He lacks the iodine , it causes the kidney function to be depleted to lack the iodine, water flows to the lower, flow to the ankle, the ankle is swollen. How did that peak die? The peak lacks irons. That is because Li Tie has gone to Britain, do not have Chen Gang? The steel is harder than the iron, cross and is inferior to particularly. What oil is crossed? Underground drainage oil, the underground drainage oil is the oil that is smelted out from the underground drainage. U.S.A. hits Iraq only for the underground drainage oil! The film of U.S.A. is specially interesting! Let's go to see the American film next week, then let's watch China ! We watch Farewell My Concubine ( ) ....How about it? Farewell My Concubine was played the role of by Zhang Guorong, Zhang Guorong died ……

(The imperial mother shouts, stamp the ground, protruding, everybody scatter,the whole audience quiet) imperial mother: (revolutionary form ) I am Xiao Ming! (change the direction) I want to go to school! (Sing: Small and two little my darling ~~~(put and put crazily)) everybody: Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (Everybody in behind one row will be stood , continue snow heartily,see everybody not parked, whether uneasy form, bow, stand by everybody), aside. The queen is crazy , after the snow white marries prince, happy life is full of happiness and happiness, they are together happily all one's life. This that our modern drama arrived, thank everybody for everybody's concerns , me, it is the aside. )

Everybody appears on the stage , bow, answer a curtain call.

Answer 4

Answer 5

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