5人搞笑的英语剧本，最好有翻译 急急急！！！
1个回答
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小品：上学
Sketch: School
刘：上课了，上课了。
Liu: class, class.
贾：上课了，上课了，快点快点上课了。
Jia: Class A, class, hurry up to class.
刘：班长好。
Liu: monitor.
贾：你好，听说咱们班又来了一个新班主任，还是个女的。
Jia: Hello, I've heard that our class to a new teacher, or a woman.
刘：管它是男还是女的，来了照样把她撵走。
Liu: it is male or female, to still get rid of her.
贾：嗯。
Jia: well.
姐：嗨，你们俩好。
Sister: Hey, you guys.
贾刘：早上好！
Jia Liu good morning!
姐：这么早就来了，诶，有没听说咱们班又换班主任了。
Sister: have come so early, ah, have not heard that our class for class.
贾刘：知道了知道了，早就知道了。
Jia Liu: I know, know.
姐：诶，而且还是个女的。
Sister: ah, but a woman.
贾刘：也知道了，也知道了。
Jia Liu: I know, know.
姐：要不我们呆会整整她。给她起个外号。
Sister: or we will stay for her. Give her a nickname.
刘：不错不错，这个主意不错。那起什么外号。
Liu: Yes, that's a good idea. That what nickname.
姐：叫喇叭花。
Sister: called morning glory.
刘：喇叭花，太俗了太俗了太俗了。
Liu: morning glory, too too too.
贾：那这样好不好？咱们帮她起个外号叫老母鸡。
Jia: that is so good? Let's help her up a nickname called old hen.
姐：啊，老母鸡。
Sister: ah, the old hen.
贾：嗯。
Jia: well.
刘：现在禽流感特严重。还，还敢叫老母鸡。
Liu: now very serious flu. Also, also dare to call the old hen.
姐：那才应该叫呢！
Sister: it should be called!
贾：那就 这么地吧
Jia: it is so
刘&姐：好好好
Liu & sister: good good
刘：这个好，这个好，这个好。
Liu: the good, the good, the good.
贾：这个主意不错哦。那待会你来叫好啦？（指向C）
Jia: This is a good idea. That will be your good? (to C)
姐：我不叫。
Sister: I didn't call.
贾：那你来叫（指向A）
Jia: you call (to A)
刘：我也不叫。
Liu: I don't call.
贾：那你也不叫，她也不叫，谁叫啊？
Jia: you do not call, she didn't call, who called?
姐：诶，有啦，呆会老纪来了，让她叫。她在咱班最皮了。
Sister: ah, there you will stay, old age comes, let her call. She is in our class's skin.
贾：诶，好主意，好主意。
Jia: ah, good idea, good idea.
刘：这个主意不错。
Liu: that's a good idea.
贾：老纪，上课啦，上课啦，上课啦。
Jia: old age, class, class, class.
纪：来啦。（唱歌出场）~~笑什么笑啊？没见过美女啊？？
Ji: yes. (singing appearances) ~ ~ what's so funny? Haven't seen beauty ah??
贾：诶，诶，老纪。
Jia: Aye, aye, old age.
纪：嗯。
Ji: well.
贾：我们班又来了一个新班主任。我们给她起了个外号叫老母鸡。一会她来了你叫哦。
Jia: our class to a new teacher. We gave her the nickname old hen. For a moment she came to call you oh.
纪：我不叫。
Ji: I didn't call.
贾：为什么？
Jia: why?
纪：你们老骗我，每次我一张嘴，你们把嘴都闭上了。
Ji: you old fool me, every time I open my mouth, your mouth shut.
贾：不是，这次不骗你。
Jia: No, this is not cheating you.
刘&姐：对。
Liu & sister.
贾：我们大家伙一起叫。
Jia: our big guy called.
贾&姐：嗯。
Jia & sister: well.
纪：这次不骗我
Ji: This is not fool me
贾刘&姐：恩这次不骗你。一起叫。
Jia Liu & sister: well this time not to lie to you. Call together.
纪好，一起叫。
Well, call together.
静：家好，我就是新来的班主任。听说这个班的学生特别难得教，但是，我非常有爱心，我会将我的爱心，来感化他们。同学们好！
Static: good, I was new to the teacher. I heard the students in this class are particularly rare, however, I am very caring, I will put my love, to influence them. Good students!
刘纪贾&姐：老。
Liu Jijia: the old lady.
纪：母鸡呀。
Ji: hen.
静：哪位小同学喊老师是老母鸡，请往前一步。（ABC一起退后）小同学，请你站起来。
Static: a small classmate shout teacher is old hen, please step forward. (ABC back) small students, please stand up.
纪：恩。
Ji: en.
静：同学，你可站稳咯。
Static: students, you can stand.
纪：老师，地不平。
Ji: the teacher, the ground.
静：小同学，你为啥叫我老母鸡。
Static: small students, why did you call me old hen.
纪：不告诉你
Ji: don't tell you
静：我有信心，我有耐心。小同学，请你跟老师到办公室去一下。
Static: I have confidence, I have the patience. Small students, please go to the office together with the teacher.
纪：干什么？
Ji: stem what?
静：老师请你吃巧克力。
Static: please you eat chocolate teacher.
纪：真的？
Ji: really?
静：真的，来。
Static: really, to.
纪：耶，吃巧克力去咯。
Ji: Yeah, go eat chocolate.
贾：诶，这叫老母鸡还吃巧克力？
Jia: Hey, this is called the old hen also eat chocolate?
姐：就是，早知道我们也叫哪。
Sister: that is, early know we also call which.
刘：就是啊。
Liu: yes.
静：我请你吃巧克力，德芙的，金帝的，吃啊吃，你吃饱啊。（走出来）我从来不体罚我的学生。小同学你可以出来了。
Static: I ask you to eat chocolate, Dove, Kinde, eat eat, you eat ah. (out) I never spanking my students. Small students, you can come out.
纪：来了（唱歌）
Ji: (to Chang Ge)
贾：诶，你怎么啦？老纪。
Jia: Hey, how do you? The old record.
姐：老纪，你没事吧？
Sister: old age, are you all right?
纪：老师打人。
Ji: the teacher.
贾刘姐：我们看看，看看。
Sister Jia Liu: we have a look, have a look.
刘：唉哟，伤得不轻啊？
Liu: Well, hurt not light ah?
贾：打得不轻啊？
Jia: hit not light ah?
静：接下来，老师给你们上第1课，来，小同学，请起立。
Static: next, I'll give you first lesson, to, small students, please stand up.
纪：怎么又是我？
Ji: Why me?
静：跟你们出个上联，哪位同学可以回答请举手回答。请听清楚，上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。哪个小同学可以回答？好，就你这个女同学回答？
Static: tell you a couplet, which students can answer please raise their hands to answer. Please listen carefully, the alliance: South Tongzhou North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south. Some students can answer? Good, you this female students to answer?
刘：东当铺西当铺，东西当铺当东西。
Liu: East West pawnshop pawn, pawn shop when things.
静：诶，答得不错，还有哪位同学可以举手回答？小同学，你举手了可以回答。来来，请站起来回答。
Static: ah, well reasoned, who also can raise their hands to answer? Small classmate, you raised your hand can answer. Come on, please stand up and answer.
纪：答什么？
Ji: a what?
静：答对联。
Static: a poetic couplet.
纪：什么对联？
Ji: what poetic couplet?
静：上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。
Static: the alliance: South Tongzhou, North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south.
纪：男同学女同学，男女同学学男女。
Ji: male student female students, male and female students in men and women.
静：挻押韵的，答得不错。来老师再问你一个？香花不红，红花不香，玫瑰花又红又香。
Static: y rhyme, a well. To the teacher to ask you one? Fragrant flowers are not red, red is not sweet, rose red andsweet.
纪：响屁不臭，臭屁不响，连环屁又臭又响。
Ji: ring is not smelly fart, fart not ring series fart, smelly and ring.
静：班长，不许打屁。
Static: monitor, no warm.
纪：好人咧，谢谢啊。
Ji: good, thank you.
静：啥子学生啊？E：班长，你看校庆就要到来了，我们班准备了什么节目？
Static: what students ah? E: monitor, you see the anniversary is coming, our class to prepare what programs?
贾：我们为老师准备的是朗诵。
Jia: we prepared for the teacher is reading.
静：那首先我们来朗诵一个。
Static: the first we read a.
贾：好，首先我们为老师朗诵的是春晓。春眠不觉晓。
Jia: Well, first of all we as teachers reading is the chunxiao. I awake light-hearted this morning of spring,
刘：处处闻啼鸟。
Liu: hear birds singing everywhere.
姐：夜来风雨声。
Sister: night rain sound.
纪：房盖掀霏了。
Ji: housing lid Fei.
静：（打D）变啦，看你还变？
Static: (D) changed, you have to change?
静：哪个教你的？
Static: who taught you?
纪：班长教我的。
Ji: monitor taught me.
纪：你干嘛老打我？
Ji: why you always make me?
静：一到你这里就出错？
Static: one to you here?
贾刘姐：老师你别打了，校长来了。
Sister Jia Liu: the teacher you don't fight, to the principal.
静：校长来了。
Static: the principal to.
贾刘姐：老纪快跑。（完）
Jia Liujie: the old Ji run. (end)
Sketch: School
刘：上课了，上课了。
Liu: class, class.
贾：上课了，上课了，快点快点上课了。
Jia: Class A, class, hurry up to class.
刘：班长好。
Liu: monitor.
贾：你好，听说咱们班又来了一个新班主任，还是个女的。
Jia: Hello, I've heard that our class to a new teacher, or a woman.
刘：管它是男还是女的，来了照样把她撵走。
Liu: it is male or female, to still get rid of her.
贾：嗯。
Jia: well.
姐：嗨，你们俩好。
Sister: Hey, you guys.
贾刘：早上好！
Jia Liu good morning!
姐：这么早就来了，诶，有没听说咱们班又换班主任了。
Sister: have come so early, ah, have not heard that our class for class.
贾刘：知道了知道了，早就知道了。
Jia Liu: I know, know.
姐：诶，而且还是个女的。
Sister: ah, but a woman.
贾刘：也知道了，也知道了。
Jia Liu: I know, know.
姐：要不我们呆会整整她。给她起个外号。
Sister: or we will stay for her. Give her a nickname.
刘：不错不错，这个主意不错。那起什么外号。
Liu: Yes, that's a good idea. That what nickname.
姐：叫喇叭花。
Sister: called morning glory.
刘：喇叭花，太俗了太俗了太俗了。
Liu: morning glory, too too too.
贾：那这样好不好？咱们帮她起个外号叫老母鸡。
Jia: that is so good? Let's help her up a nickname called old hen.
姐：啊，老母鸡。
Sister: ah, the old hen.
贾：嗯。
Jia: well.
刘：现在禽流感特严重。还，还敢叫老母鸡。
Liu: now very serious flu. Also, also dare to call the old hen.
姐：那才应该叫呢！
Sister: it should be called!
贾：那就 这么地吧
Jia: it is so
刘&姐：好好好
Liu & sister: good good
刘：这个好，这个好，这个好。
Liu: the good, the good, the good.
贾：这个主意不错哦。那待会你来叫好啦？（指向C）
Jia: This is a good idea. That will be your good? (to C)
姐：我不叫。
Sister: I didn't call.
贾：那你来叫（指向A）
Jia: you call (to A)
刘：我也不叫。
Liu: I don't call.
贾：那你也不叫，她也不叫，谁叫啊？
Jia: you do not call, she didn't call, who called?
姐：诶，有啦，呆会老纪来了，让她叫。她在咱班最皮了。
Sister: ah, there you will stay, old age comes, let her call. She is in our class's skin.
贾：诶，好主意，好主意。
Jia: ah, good idea, good idea.
刘：这个主意不错。
Liu: that's a good idea.
贾：老纪，上课啦，上课啦，上课啦。
Jia: old age, class, class, class.
纪：来啦。（唱歌出场）~~笑什么笑啊？没见过美女啊？？
Ji: yes. (singing appearances) ~ ~ what's so funny? Haven't seen beauty ah??
贾：诶，诶，老纪。
Jia: Aye, aye, old age.
纪：嗯。
Ji: well.
贾：我们班又来了一个新班主任。我们给她起了个外号叫老母鸡。一会她来了你叫哦。
Jia: our class to a new teacher. We gave her the nickname old hen. For a moment she came to call you oh.
纪：我不叫。
Ji: I didn't call.
贾：为什么？
Jia: why?
纪：你们老骗我，每次我一张嘴，你们把嘴都闭上了。
Ji: you old fool me, every time I open my mouth, your mouth shut.
贾：不是，这次不骗你。
Jia: No, this is not cheating you.
刘&姐：对。
Liu & sister.
贾：我们大家伙一起叫。
Jia: our big guy called.
贾&姐：嗯。
Jia & sister: well.
纪：这次不骗我
Ji: This is not fool me
贾刘&姐：恩这次不骗你。一起叫。
Jia Liu & sister: well this time not to lie to you. Call together.
纪好，一起叫。
Well, call together.
静：家好，我就是新来的班主任。听说这个班的学生特别难得教，但是，我非常有爱心，我会将我的爱心，来感化他们。同学们好！
Static: good, I was new to the teacher. I heard the students in this class are particularly rare, however, I am very caring, I will put my love, to influence them. Good students!
刘纪贾&姐：老。
Liu Jijia: the old lady.
纪：母鸡呀。
Ji: hen.
静：哪位小同学喊老师是老母鸡，请往前一步。（ABC一起退后）小同学，请你站起来。
Static: a small classmate shout teacher is old hen, please step forward. (ABC back) small students, please stand up.
纪：恩。
Ji: en.
静：同学，你可站稳咯。
Static: students, you can stand.
纪：老师，地不平。
Ji: the teacher, the ground.
静：小同学，你为啥叫我老母鸡。
Static: small students, why did you call me old hen.
纪：不告诉你
Ji: don't tell you
静：我有信心，我有耐心。小同学，请你跟老师到办公室去一下。
Static: I have confidence, I have the patience. Small students, please go to the office together with the teacher.
纪：干什么？
Ji: stem what?
静：老师请你吃巧克力。
Static: please you eat chocolate teacher.
纪：真的？
Ji: really?
静：真的，来。
Static: really, to.
纪：耶，吃巧克力去咯。
Ji: Yeah, go eat chocolate.
贾：诶，这叫老母鸡还吃巧克力？
Jia: Hey, this is called the old hen also eat chocolate?
姐：就是，早知道我们也叫哪。
Sister: that is, early know we also call which.
刘：就是啊。
Liu: yes.
静：我请你吃巧克力，德芙的，金帝的，吃啊吃，你吃饱啊。（走出来）我从来不体罚我的学生。小同学你可以出来了。
Static: I ask you to eat chocolate, Dove, Kinde, eat eat, you eat ah. (out) I never spanking my students. Small students, you can come out.
纪：来了（唱歌）
Ji: (to Chang Ge)
贾：诶，你怎么啦？老纪。
Jia: Hey, how do you? The old record.
姐：老纪，你没事吧？
Sister: old age, are you all right?
纪：老师打人。
Ji: the teacher.
贾刘姐：我们看看，看看。
Sister Jia Liu: we have a look, have a look.
刘：唉哟，伤得不轻啊？
Liu: Well, hurt not light ah?
贾：打得不轻啊？
Jia: hit not light ah?
静：接下来，老师给你们上第1课，来，小同学，请起立。
Static: next, I'll give you first lesson, to, small students, please stand up.
纪：怎么又是我？
Ji: Why me?
静：跟你们出个上联，哪位同学可以回答请举手回答。请听清楚，上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。哪个小同学可以回答？好，就你这个女同学回答？
Static: tell you a couplet, which students can answer please raise their hands to answer. Please listen carefully, the alliance: South Tongzhou North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south. Some students can answer? Good, you this female students to answer?
刘：东当铺西当铺，东西当铺当东西。
Liu: East West pawnshop pawn, pawn shop when things.
静：诶，答得不错，还有哪位同学可以举手回答？小同学，你举手了可以回答。来来，请站起来回答。
Static: ah, well reasoned, who also can raise their hands to answer? Small classmate, you raised your hand can answer. Come on, please stand up and answer.
纪：答什么？
Ji: a what?
静：答对联。
Static: a poetic couplet.
纪：什么对联？
Ji: what poetic couplet?
静：上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。
Static: the alliance: South Tongzhou, North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south.
纪：男同学女同学，男女同学学男女。
Ji: male student female students, male and female students in men and women.
静：挻押韵的，答得不错。来老师再问你一个？香花不红，红花不香，玫瑰花又红又香。
Static: y rhyme, a well. To the teacher to ask you one? Fragrant flowers are not red, red is not sweet, rose red andsweet.
纪：响屁不臭，臭屁不响，连环屁又臭又响。
Ji: ring is not smelly fart, fart not ring series fart, smelly and ring.
静：班长，不许打屁。
Static: monitor, no warm.
纪：好人咧，谢谢啊。
Ji: good, thank you.
静：啥子学生啊？E：班长，你看校庆就要到来了，我们班准备了什么节目？
Static: what students ah? E: monitor, you see the anniversary is coming, our class to prepare what programs?
贾：我们为老师准备的是朗诵。
Jia: we prepared for the teacher is reading.
静：那首先我们来朗诵一个。
Static: the first we read a.
贾：好，首先我们为老师朗诵的是春晓。春眠不觉晓。
Jia: Well, first of all we as teachers reading is the chunxiao. I awake light-hearted this morning of spring,
刘：处处闻啼鸟。
Liu: hear birds singing everywhere.
姐：夜来风雨声。
Sister: night rain sound.
纪：房盖掀霏了。
Ji: housing lid Fei.
静：（打D）变啦，看你还变？
Static: (D) changed, you have to change?
静：哪个教你的？
Static: who taught you?
纪：班长教我的。
Ji: monitor taught me.
纪：你干嘛老打我？
Ji: why you always make me?
静：一到你这里就出错？
Static: one to you here?
贾刘姐：老师你别打了，校长来了。
Sister Jia Liu: the teacher you don't fight, to the principal.
静：校长来了。
Static: the principal to.
贾刘姐：老纪快跑。（完）
Jia Liujie: the old Ji run. (end)
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