英语搞笑对话
笑是人天生表情的一部分，它没有人主观意识的驱动，是属于自发行为;而搞笑，则是人类主动去寻求快乐。下面是我给大家整理的，供大家参阅!
篇1
有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。
于是 ，俺就对他说：
“I am sorry”。
“I am sorry， too” 外国人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。
“I am sorry five” 我说……
男：Can I buy you a drink?我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?
女：Actually I''d rather have the money.不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。
篇2
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
篇3
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS: Big hands!
篇4
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
篇5
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
篇6
男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?
女:Sure.
男:What is your father’s name?
女:Happy!
男:Then, What is your mother’s name?
女:Smile!
男:Are you joking?
女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.
女:Go ahead.
男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a
band. Will you join us?
女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band
男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you
can play piano very well.
女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.
男:What are you good at?
女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.
男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?
女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.
男:Really? What does he like?
篇7
四个人登场,进行自我介绍
印度人:Good morning, boys and girls. I’m India and the monitor of the class.
中国人: Hello, everyone. I’m Chinese.
美国人: Hi, I’m American.
日本人,自我介绍的时候鞠个躬,显示所谓的礼仪: Hi, I’m Japanese and my English is very poor;
Pangbai: During the National Day ,they travelled from Xi’an to
Shanghai pas *** y Luoyang. It’s said that some interesting
and funny story have been happened when they travelled.
Now , they will show us what actually happened in their
trip.
India: Well, I rent a car, but the car can only take three people. I
have an idea that we take turns to ask questions, anybody
who give the right answer can get on, or run following the car.
Do you agree with me?
三个人异口同声地回答,尤以日本人最活跃.
Yes ,sir. No problem.
Inida: Now ,as the monitor of the class I will question now. Are you
ready?
三个人再次异口同声地回答,日本人还是最活跃
Yes, we are ready.
India: Hi ,American, how many sun in the sky?
American: Such a simple question. The answer is only one.
India: Good job. And Chinese guy, how many moon in the sky?
Chinese: So easy, it’s one.
Japanese: wow , laughing…,阴笑 these questions are so simple and
our Japanese are so clever.
India: Hi. Japanese. Do you know how many stars in the sky?
Japanese: Stars? Are you kidding me? Sorry, I don’t know.
India淫笑: I’m sorry, you don’t give me a right answer. So, we three go to Luoyang by car and you follow us. Let’s go.对其他两人说.
Pangbai: Now, the Chinese , the India, the American trave to
Luoyang by car and the Japanese have to run following the
car. Several days later, the three man have taken a tour in
Luoyang and they are talking about their fells. But the
Japanese is still on his way.
American: 描述一下洛阳,百度多的是,我也是搜的.在此省略了.
Chinese: We have to go now, bur where is the Japanese?
Japanese: 气喘吁吁地跑过来,弯著腰说 Thank god, I e up with
you finally.
India: 对日本人说 Are you OK?
Japanese: 立马直起腰 I can’t be fine any more.嘴硬!
India: Good! Now, we start the second round questioning andChinese
guy, This is your hometown and as host you question us.
Chinese: OK, it’s my turn. I’ll ask questions about our Chinese
history and monitor, Do you know the Liberation Campaign
of China.
India: Let me see. It’s LiaoShen War, PeiPing war and HuaiHai War.
Chinese: Absolutely right. And American, Do you know how many
soldiers sacrificed in that war?
American: En…, I think it’s about 500,000.
Chinese: Good! And Japanese, do you know their names ?
Japanese: names? 苦笑,垂头丧气地,I don’t know.
Chinese” I’m sorry, boy. You failed again.假惺惺地拍拍日本人的肩
膀,对其他俩人说,Let’s go.
Pangbai: Another time, the Japanese travelled on foot and the other
three by car.. Suddenly they met each other somewhere on the rode outside the Luoyang city.
American: Hi. Japanese, how are you ?
Japanese:边跑边说,气喘吁吁 I’m fine. Thank you ,And you ? around We can’t be fine any more.
Chinese: See you in Shanghai.
Pangbai: Several days later. The three men had enjoyed their good
time in Shanghai and the Japanese is still on his way. But
fortunately, they had changed their car for fore-seat. It
seemed that the Japanese still don’t know. Now they are
talking about their felling about Shanghai.
Chinese: 描述上海.百度搜.
India” It’s really an interesting journey and time up, we should go
home. But where is the Japanese?
Japanese: 累死累活的跑过来Wait me for a while. I’m here. India: OK! Let’s go back.
Japanese: wait, wait… ,I don’t think it’s fair to me . I have run from
Xi’an to Shanghai and I have to answer the first question. India: What question?
American: 与中国人对视一笑 OK! I pick out a question for you.
How many leaves in that tree?
Japanese: one , two , three …, wow , so many. I can’t find the answer.
My god, I have to run from Shanghai to Xi’an again. 说完跑开了.
Chinese: what a foolish the Japanese man. Our car have four seats.
Why he run away again?
India: Bee fool when run, I think.
Pangbai: Several days later. They all back to Xi’an. Now they are
here and having my class; “Hi, boys, how is your trip?”
Japanese: It’s terrible . I am so tired.
Pangbai: you are a real marathon runner and you three?
India: we all have enjoyed the trip.
Pangbai: 铃响了 Time flies. We have ten minutes break. 美国人往外走, 不小心被日本人撞了一下.发生如下对话.
Japanese: I'm sorry,sir.
American: I'm sorry, too.
Japanese: two? I'm sorry three?
American: What are you sorry for?
Japanese: four? I' m sorry five.
American: What do you want to say?
Teacher: 老师听不下去了,生气了.这时,the teacher got down and
knocked the head of Japanese and said :"I have taught you for two years ,What did you say just now! Time up, we have the class now."
Teacher: En......Last week, we...
此时中国人登场了,打断老师的讲话.
Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?
Teacher: 一挥手,说道 Go ahead!
听到这个这个中国人坐下了.
Teacher: Last week, we ....,,
Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?
Teacher: 呃,再次说道 Go ahead.
听到这个,中国人再次坐下了.一旁的印度人催他去,但他无动于衷. Teacher: Last week, we ...
Chinese: Mr. Hu. May I go ....
Teacher: Don't disturb me any more. I have said go ahead, go ahead.
Why don't you go?
Chinese: You alway say that go ahead, go ahead. It means去你个头
呀. How can I go ?
Teacher: Unbelievable! Now you can go to the toilet.
Chinese: But I ' m fine now. Thank you.
Teacher: It' s up to you. Last week, we have assigned a dialog
between Chinese and American. And are you ready now? Chinese & American: Yes!
Teacher: Now , the Chinese acts for a waiter and the American for a
foreign guest. What will happen between them?
Chinese: Hello.
American: Hello.
Chinese: You have what thing?
American: Can you speak English?
Chinese: If I not speak English, I speak what?
American: Is anybody else speaking English?
Chinese: You yourself look, All people are playing, no people have
time. You can wait, you not wait you go.
American: Good heavens ! Anybody else can speak English?
Chinese: Shout what shout! 啊, give me a little quilt. ....en.... You
have what thing?
American: I want to speak to your head?
Chinese: Head? Head 今天没来, Tomorrow 你来吧.
