Question

大家问我改改英语作文吧！衷心感谢你！

大家帮我改改作文好吗？大家提点建议，不管对否，我衷心感谢你！
内容提示：按下面所给内容写一篇演讲稿。
地球——我们的家园
1.每年4月21日为世界地球日（Earth Day），旨在保护环境、关爱地球。
2.当前地球所面临的环境、资源问题。
3.举办地球日的重大意义并提出建议和措施。
写作要求：
1.文章情感丰富，主题鲜明。
2.语言流畅，结构合理，行文连贯，有理有据。
3.120－150词之间。
词汇提示:endangered species 濒危物种
environmental issues 环境问题
resources shortage 资源短缺
我的作文
Earth--our home
ladies and gentle man,
Today is a special occasion!It's pleasure to be here!
As is konwn to us all,it is Earth Day on Apr.22nd,one that let us care for earth and protect her!
Life is born in water. Water is to us what water is to fish,but somebody waste water seriously, what's worse, those don't realise the seriousness of wasting!In the future,there may be a war over water, so the people who love peace should treasure water like life!
Earth,i konw your position.You are going from bad to wore for human beings' action.You are crying,disappointed and sad.
The endangered species,environmental issues and resources shortage go worse every second.
Do you want to let nature take its course？No,in order to the future of human beings,we must get into the great habit of protecting earth from now.
So,it is necessary we hold Earth Day.
I suggest we learn more about how serious the situation of earth is.
Outraged nature is no respecter of persons,rich or poor.
Don't just talk.Let's get started!

Answer 1

我按你的思路帮你大概重新写了一下：
Earth --- Our home
First I'd like to say I very appreciate this oppertunity to stand here to communicate with you.
As we all know, Apr.22nd is the Earth Day which aims at attacking peoples'attention on protecting earth environment.
Water is recognized as the source of all lives that embraces and nurses human beings. However, the facts shows that the waste of water is rampant in daily life, industrial and agricultural production. Furthermore, most people don't realize the harm of this action. In my point of view,considering the above faults, all of us should save water as quickly as possible.
Protecting the environment is a matter of great urgency.
时间不够就写到这，剩下的你自己在改改……呵呵

Answer 2

时态是没错，就是语言太平淡了
呵呵

Answer 3

It's pleasure to be here改为It's s pleasure to be here.
Life is born in water.可改为lives are depond on water.或者 life originates from water.
.You are going from bad to （worse ）for human beings
we must get into the great habit of protecting earth (from )去掉now.
语句很平凡，没得一般，还需多花点心思

Answer 4

just like Chinese English!
you should change the mind.

Answer 5

Apr.22nd 最好用展开的写法：April twenty-second