Question

求帮忙改英语短文

Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here,but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
这篇文章都用过去式后中间几句有些重复，求学霸帮忙改下

Answer 1

修改建议

　　1、第一句 Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old 用来介绍Tom 的个人情况，可以用现在时态。如果把整个段落都看做是一个故事，这一句也可以用过去时叙述。
　　2、后面讲的是他过去的经历，需要用过去时态叙述。
　　3、对话是直接引语，需要用现在是引述，不过女孩子问“为什么买了怎么多票”一句是发现他总在买票才问的，因此应该改为现在完成时。
　　4、整个短文除时态外，写得很流畅，只是Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket 中的 that 是多余的词，只是句子不通，删除掉就可以了，即Two or three minutes after, he comes out and asks for another ticket.
　　5、个别处需要添加逗号

全文修改如下：

　　Tom is (或was) a little boy, and he is (或 was) only seven years old. Once he went to a cinema. It was the first time for him to do that. He bought a ticket and went in. But after two or three minutes, he came out and bought the second ticket and went in again. After a few minutes, he came out again and bought the third ticket. Two or three minutes after, he came out and asked for another ticket. But a girl asked him, “Why have you bought so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

Answer 2

Tom is a little boy,and he is only seven years old.Once he went to a cinema.It is the first time for him to do that.He bought a ticket and went in.But after two or three minutes he came out,and bought the second ticket then went in again.After a few minutes he canme out again and bought the third ticket.Two or three minutes later,he came out and asked for another ticket.But a girl asked him,'Why do you buy so many tickets?How many friends do you meet in the cinema?''No,I have no friends in the cinema,but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.'【额，这篇文章好眼熟，我记得我们做的是阅读理解，只不过人物换成了一个老男人】

追问

我知道使用过去式但是中间有的句子重复很绕，想改改求帮忙啊

追答

(⊙o⊙)是挺绕的，好麻烦