Question

有没有人能帮我看下有没有语法错误

Hello,everyone!
My name is Song Xiaoyan,I'm from Shantou.It is a
beautiful city in Guangdong province.I love my home
town and I also welcome you to play.Nice to meet you
here,I hope we can be good friends later on.

I'm a livily girl!I like singing 、 dancing and doing sports
,because I think they can bring me good mood.

About my dream,I want to go to ten countrys before 35 years
old.I hope it will be come ture.
Thanks for listenning!Thank you very much!

Answer 1

你好！我对你的文章做了简要改正，自己对比一下。仅供参考：Hello,everyone!
My name is Song Xiaoyan.I'm from Shantou.It is a
beautiful city in Guangdong Province.I love my hometown
and I also welcome you to visit it sometime when you are free.Nice to meet you here.I hope we can be good friends later on.

I'm a livily girl!I like singing , dancing and doing sports
,because I think they can make me strong and bring me good mood.
As for my dream,I'd like to travel to not less than ten countries by the age of 35.I hope it will be come ture.
Thanks for listenning!Thank you very much!

文章文笔不错，尽量克服一些汉式英语的束缚，运用一些高级语法，如：非谓语动词，复合句，强调句型，倒装结构，这样你的文章会生色不少。 词汇运用中，同样意思的词，可以试着选择一些词组或有难度的词：如：忍受---bear stand tolerate put up with ,有选择 运用，我认为这样比较好。
祝学习进步，天天快乐！

Answer 2

你写的很不错！
前面几乎没有需要修改的。
Hello,everyone!
My name is Song Xiaoyan,I'm from Shantou.It is a
beautiful city in Guangdong province.I love my home
town and 【you are also welcome to play here.】
【Nice to meet you here 用法不合适，信息多余，直接删除】
I hope we can be good friends later on.

I'm a livily girl and I like singing 、 dancing and doing sports
,because I think they can bring me good mood.

【As for my dream】,I want to go to ten 【countries】 before 35 years
old.I hope it will 【come/become true.】
Thanks 【a lot】 for listening!【Thank you very much!多余，删除】