Question

大家帮我批改一下雅思作文吧，马上就要考试了

谢谢大家了先，我真是没什么分，大家就算帮个忙吧
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In recent decades, as most commodities are mass-producted, people are more prone to stay in one company all their life rather than changing their career, which is opposed by some people whose opinion is changing can always be positive. To conclude who is more reasonable ,further discussion is needed.

In the first place, staying unchanged can exert benefits on people’s life. First of all, worker may be more experienced by operating one machine all their life. For example, the senior workers always can complete the same job faster compared with the new comers. Also ,companies can benefit from the sophisticated labors for their knowledge and experience in particular field as well as their efficiency. For instance, senior employees have more customs than their counterparts. In this case, they are more valuable than the junior workers.

Thinking from another perspective, job rotation also have advantages on both individuals and corporations. New comers are always curious about everything in the brand new environment. As a result, they are apt to work with more passion than the older workers. In addition, through the process of transferring, they may acquire a wide range of knowledge over different fields, which can be helpful for their future development. And that may be one reason why some multi-national companies prefer to search elites from their rivals.

In conclusion, keeping one position or trying various jobs both have their own advantages. In this case, I suggest people with different goals of life choose different paths under the consideration of their own characters, since only the fittest path can lead the way to your destination.

Answer 1

雅思的作文尽量不要用太长的复合句，能简单地表述就简单点，这不同于高考作文！In recent decades, as most commodities are mass-producted, people are more prone to stay in one company all their life rather than changing their career, which is opposed by some people whose opinion is changing can always be positive.不是一般的长阿！考官估计看了都要心头来火了。。。你的作文很明显套用了一般范文的大体模式。建议增加一两处有灵性的句子（如一些俗语‘成语之类），作为全文亮点，平淡叙事时尽量简洁（简洁不代表用初中生词汇作文，避免长句）

你的文章说实话按语法找还真看不出什么大问题，以上就是我的一点小建议，至于你那分悬赏，我也无所谓，看着给吧。

Answer 2

senior employees have more customs than their counterparts. In this case, they are more valuable than the junior workers.
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senior employees have more customers than their junior counterparts do. In this case, they are comparatively more valuable.

Answer 3

As a result, they are apt to work with more passion for working. In addition, through the process of transferring, the company may acquire a wide range of knowledge over different fields, which can be helpful for their development. And that may be one reason why some multi-national companies prefer to search elites from their rivals to upgrade itself.