Question

找一个最搞笑的笑话

笑话

Answer 1

1.闺女发烧了，38度，我在值班，老公火急火燎的给我打电话问我咋办？我刚要说话就听到闺女说，首先要洗个热水澡，有酒精的话可以加点酒精，多喝水，没超过39度可以不用吃药，最后就是还要给我准备点零食！

2.有个男人得知老婆怀孕，非常高兴。他买来一瓶补胎灵，对老婆说：“你吃后一定有助于胎儿的发育。”他老婆看了半天，把那东西丢进了垃圾桶。男人忙问为什么。老婆骂道：“傻货，这是补自行车胎的胶水。”

3.去买烧饼，前面的女性问老板：不是七毛一个吗？怎样收八毛？老板：大姐，提价了，现在什么都贵，房租涨了，芝麻涨了，面涨了……女性气哼哼的拿起烧饼嘀咕：特么一年年的，什么都在提价，只有老娘在掉价……

4.昨天和暗恋的妹子出去玩，在路上她不小心踩到西瓜皮了，幸好lz身手敏捷，一把抱住她的腰。如电视情节一般，我两本就钟情对方，谁也没有打破这刻美好的浪漫时光，于是就这样抱着她深情相望！想着不如就吻上去吧，刚要有所行动呢，口水却特么先行一步……

Answer 2

一天魔王抓走公主,公主一直叫.
　　魔王
：「你尽管叫破喉咙吧...没有人会来救你的....」
　　公主
：「破喉咙..破喉咙..」
　　没有人：「公主..我来救你了...」
　　魔王
：「说曹操曹操就到...」
　　曹操
：「魔王..你
叫我干嘛..」
　　魔王
：「哇勒..看到鬼」
　　鬼
：「靠!被发现了..」
　　靠
：「阿鬼,你看的到我喔...」
　　魔王
：「oh,my
god!」
　　上帝
：「谁叫我?」
　　谁
：「没有人叫你阿...」
　　没有人：「我哪有？装蒜啊！」
　　蒜
：「谁在装我？」
　　谁
：「又说我？你们找麻烦啊？」
　　烦
：「哪一个找我？」
　　哪一个：「找你？我才没有...咦，这儿有好多人。」
　　好多人：「我才刚到耶……你是谁？」
　　哪一个：「我才不是谁。」
　　谁
：「他才不是我。」
　　公主
：「大家都是来救我的吗？」
　　大家都：「我不是来救你的，是来看热闹的。」
　　热闹
：「我有什麽好看的？」
　　上帝
：「不关我的事，先走了。」
　　魔王
：「你回答一个问题再走，为什麽这麽多人救公主？我这个魔
　　王怎麽演下去？」
　　下去
：「你好好的魔王不干，演我做什麽？」
　　公主
：「魔王若是没有人演，我就可以走了。」
　　没有人：「若是我演魔王，怎麽会让你走...」
　　怎麽会：「我才不让公主走，我要看热闹。」
　　热闹
：「看我干什麽？」
　　什麽
：「你居然要『干』我？流氓！」
　　你居然
:「我哪有？」
　　我
:「关我什麽事ㄚ?」
　　魔王
:「靠!我要疯了......。」
　　靠:「喊我干什么!...」
　　疯了
:「你要我干啥？」
　　你要我
:「我什麽都不知道ㄚ!」
　　我什麽都不
:「我哪知啊!」
　　我哪知
:「我在这里ㄚ!有人在叫我吗?」
　　有人：「我没有叫你啊!」
　　我没有：「谁叫他了啊?」
　　谁：「冤枉啊...我没有...」
　　我没有：「我可没冤枉你啊...」
　　你：「谅你也不敢。」
　　谅你：「谁说我不敢!?」
　　谁：「拜托啊...我什麽都没说啦」
　　我什麽都没：「你要我说什麽?」
　　我什麽都不：「...你...你不就是我那失散多年的兄弟吗?」
　　我那失散多年的兄弟：「拷...我名字取这麽长...也会被叫到
　　啊...」
　　谁：「...我要赶快离开这个是非之地」
　　是非：「原来这里是我的地盘啊...」
　　我什麽都不&没：「你们别吵我们在讲话啦...」
　　你们别吵我们：「我没有在讲话啊...」
　　我没有：「我才没有讲话咧!...」
　　我什麽都不：「-_-\“...走...我们到外面去聊...」
　　走：「人家不好意思啦...(扭捏)」
　　我什麽都没：「关你屁事啊...闪啦...」(两兄弟生气的走出去)
　　关你屁事：「呜...为什麽赶我走...」
　　为什麽：「我没有要赶你走啦...乖...不要哭」
　　我没有：「喔...又关我啥事了」
　　关我啥事：「啥?有人叫我吗?」
蛤蛤蛤
看旳懂才冇效果

Answer 3

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Answer 4

我只知道这一个开奥拓的笑话：

小王，刚买了辆奥拓，半夜在清静的三环路上试试车，他正开得高兴，一辆大奔从后面超上来，要超过的时候，开大奔家伙，伸出头来，冲小王喊了一句：“伙计，开过大奔吗！”，然后就一溜烟开远了，小王半天才回过味儿来，开大奔，有什么了不起的，啊，呸。一会儿小王就忘了这事，高高兴兴的又开了一圈儿。他正高兴呢，那辆大奔又从后面开过来了，好像也在遛车，超车时，开大奔的家伙又冲小王喊了一句：“伙计，开过大奔吗！”。这下气着了小王，加速想追，可是也追不上呀，干气也没办法。
没开多远，小王乐啦，那辆大奔撞在护栏上了。哈哈，小王也停下车，他要去看看那个嚣张的家伙的熊样，他来到车旁，看见那家伙还好，受伤不重，看见他走过来，张嘴又说了：“伙计，开过大奔吗！”。小王差点气背过气去，可这家伙下面又说了，小王就真背过气去了。他说：“伙计，开过大奔吗？刹车在哪儿呀？”

Answer 5

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Preamble
We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Article I
Section 1. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section 2. The House of Representatives shall be composed of members chosen every second year by the people of the several states, and the electors in each state shall have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the state legislature.
No person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the age of twenty five years, and been seven years a citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant of that state in which he shall be chosen.
Representatives and direct taxes shall be apportioned among the several states which may be included within this union, according to their respective numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole number of free persons, including those bound to service for a term of years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three years after the first meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent term of ten years, in such manner as they shall by law direct. The number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty thousand, but each state shall have at least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the state of New Hampshire shall be entitled to choose three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any state, the executive authority thereof shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies.
The House of Representatives shall choose their speaker and other officers; and shall have the sole power of impeachment.
Section 3. The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each state, chosen by the legislature thereof, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote.Immediately after they shall be assembled in consequence of the first election, they shall be divided as equally as may be int
No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the age of thirty years, and been nine years a citizen of the United States and who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant of that state for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no vote, unless they be equally divided. The Senate shall choose their other officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the office of President of the United States.
The Senate shall have the sole power to try all impeachments. When sitting for that purpose, they shall be on oath or affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no person shall be convicted without the concurrence of two thirds of the members present.
Judgment in cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States: but the party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to indictment, trial, judgment and punishment, according to law.
Section 4. The times, places and manner of holding elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each state by the legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by law make or alter such regulations, except as to the places of choosing Senators.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by law appoint a different day.
Section 5. Each House shall be the judge of the elections, returns and qualifications of its own members, and a majority of each shall constitute a quorum to do business; but a smaller number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the attendance of absent members, in such manner, and under such penalties as each House may provide.
Each House may determine the rules of its proceedings, punish its members for disorderly behavior, and, with the concurrence of